Disclaimer: THE PERSON(S) AND EVENTS IN THIS WORK ARE FICTIOUS. ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL.
She parties every night of her life, downing glass after glass of tequila shots and spirit, dancing away in estacy with her "sisters". In exchange for what would be a short term happiness and in hopes of perhaps finding her one true Prince Charming somewhere out in the dancefloor, Diana abuses her youth, slowly poisoning herself with excessive alcohol. Choosing to make up for those many years lost, she parties all night disregarding the concerns of her colleagues, her friends, her family and the one man who truly wants to love her and give her a better deserving life (but of course, she doesn't realise that yet).
Some will say that she doesn't love herself, some will say, it her freedom to live the life she wants. Who is to say she is wrong? And yet who agrees that she's right? Life is short, yet how many of us gave up pursuing our dreams and lived in regret? Perhaps Diana found a certain courage to sacrifice her life to live out her desires, or maybe she simply found some peace by escaping.
The many reasons for her need to escape, to party what remains of her life away. A broken family, a broken marriage and years of regrets.
Is it fair to say that Kate, Felicia and Diana's gang of "sisters" are bad influence? Maybe, but yet what do we know of them and their years of hardship together? The lines between right and wrong are thin, some find solace within denial, some simply choose to bravely face reality. Happiness and peace comes with sacrifice, there is no fate but what we make.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
Dropping the Bombshell
Apparently a friend of mine decided to(or not to) invite me for her wedding, mischievously suggesting that on her wedding day, I would propose to this certain girl possibly adding a double dose of drama and shock upon that auspicious day.
I later on found the joke simply hilarious (and *ahem!* strangely inspiring).
I later on found the joke simply hilarious (and *ahem!* strangely inspiring).
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Bad Moods At Work
Eckel Sara , Forbes.com
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Bad Moods At Work
Having a positive attitude, even striving for cheerful, in the workplace isn't always easy. Pat Heim recalls a conference room confrontation between two men that had the executives shouting over each other and pounding their fists on the table. Heim was one of the uncomfortable bystanders and, for her, it was an object lesson in how moods matter at work.
That kind of outburst is bad form for any professional, but it's worth noting up front that overly emotional or moody behavior is often judged more harshly when it comes from a woman, says Heim, CEO of the Heim Group, a consulting firm that specializes in gender differences in the workplace, and author of Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business.
In Depth: Mind Over Mood
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In Depth: Mind Over Mood
"A woman can be perceived as Miss Congeniality for six or seven months, but she does that one bitchy thing and that label will stay with her for a year or two," agrees Courtney Lynch, co-founder of Lead Star, a leadership consulting group out of Fairfax, Va.
While the implications of an angry outburst--or even a sarcastic eye roll--can have a long-lasting impact on an executive's authority, it can also rock her entire team. Research confirms that a sour mood has a ripple effect. Sigal Barsade, Ph.D., an associate professor of management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, has done several studies on "emotional contagions" in professional settings and found that, yes, you can catch a bad mood.
Not quite up there with swine flu, but certainly no manager wants negativity spreading throughout her office--especially if she herself is Ground Zero.
The ability to manage your emotions is an essential leadership skill and responsibility. The best managers make the connection between negativity in the workplace and a negative balance sheet. To make the obvious and opposite point, according to Professor Barsade's 2007 study co-authored by Donald Gibson, who is an associate professor of management at the Dolan School of Business at Fairfield University: "Expressing positive emotions and moods tends to enhance performance at individual, group and organizational levels."
"Especially with the economy right now, people look to leaders for calm in a chaotic environment," says Lynch, co-author of Leading from the Front: No-Excuse Leadership Tactics for Women.
People generally experience a bad or angry mood as a response to fury, fear or failure--real or perceived. So what do you do when a phone call from your sitter reporting that your twins just flooded the bathroom--again--strikes just as you're heading into that client meeting?
The first step is self awareness followed by self control. Admit to yourself that, yes, you're in bad mood, and then make sure you keep your crabbiness under wraps. "Some people think, 'This is just my thing--I cry, I scream, I get moody,'" says Lynch. "But that the type of stuff alienates people and erodes your credibility."
What can you do? ForbesWoman asked experts in integrative medicine and psychology to share the advice they tell their clients. Some of their suggestions offer a new take (who knew the benefits of a little foot stomping?) while others are wise words worth repeating.
Be Here Now
When you're feeling cranky, it's often easy to pinpoint (or point fingers at) the problem: your boss, your husband, traffic. But while any one or all may be a problem at the moment, they are not in control of your reaction to them. You are.
Managing how you respond to others is oftentimes simply a matter of managing your thoughts, says Steven Alper, LSCW, a consultant with the Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine who teaches stress-reduction techniques to executives. For example, if your boss gives you an extremely tight deadline for a project, it's easy to get caught in an endless spin cycle of whining: I can't believe she did this to me again! Doesn't she realize I have 10 other things to do this week? Not to mention a family at home that needs me--not that she would know what that's like.
In other words, you're wasting precious time and energy ruminating about the past (all those other 11th-hour assignments) and fretting about the future (not finishing in time to get your kids from daycare). The solution, instead, is to bring yourself into the present. Either get to work, recruit help or explain to your boss why the deadline is unrealistic.
Get Grounded
To short-circuit those recurring negative thought patterns, Alper recommends thinking not on, but with your feet. "We literally feel the thinking in our heads, so you want to get away from where the thinking is going on and drop into the body," he says.
Place your feet firmly on the floor (either standing or sitting--and it's OK to stomp each foot just once) and feel the sensation of the soles of your feet pressing on the surface. This will help you get you out of fantasyland and onto solid ground.
Take a Deep Breath
A foul mood may start in the brain, but it also has a physical effect--calling for a physical solution. Proper breathing techniques can help keep a bad mood from turning into a raised voice or nasty IM.
Alper explains that the value of "taking a breath" isn't simply a matter of pushing the pause button. When something upsets us, like a hostile co-worker, we often freeze--and stop breathing. "When we perceive a threat, the primitive part of our brain prepares the body to fight, flee or freeze by sending blood to our arms and legs--and away from the brain--so you feel more confused," he says.
Slow, deep and rhythmic breathing can dissipate that response. "When you take a deep breath, the message that goes to the brain is, OK, all clear,'" says Alper.
To get the most out of deep-breathing strategies, he recommends practicing them for at least 10 minutes each day; otherwise it will be very difficult to access that relaxation state in a moment of crisis. "It's like batting practice or basic training in sports," he says. "You have to learn the basic skills so that you can deploy them in a game situation."
Hit the Pavement
Exercise is another very simple, effective way to check out of the brain and into the body. Unfortunately, when the client meeting is in 15 minutes, you can't exactly duck out for a Pilates class or a five-mile run.
Fortunately, you don't have to. Robert Thayer, a professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, found that mood improves dramatically after a brisk walk of only about 10 to 15 minutes. "It has an immediate and positive effect," says Thayer, who is the author of several books on mood, including The Origin of Everyday Moods. "It both releases tension in the muscles and energizes the body."
Bad moods are inevitable, but there are even more ways to work past them. We can help you with more negativity busters in Mind Over Mood.
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
Bad Moods At Work
Having a positive attitude, even striving for cheerful, in the workplace isn't always easy. Pat Heim recalls a conference room confrontation between two men that had the executives shouting over each other and pounding their fists on the table. Heim was one of the uncomfortable bystanders and, for her, it was an object lesson in how moods matter at work.
That kind of outburst is bad form for any professional, but it's worth noting up front that overly emotional or moody behavior is often judged more harshly when it comes from a woman, says Heim, CEO of the Heim Group, a consulting firm that specializes in gender differences in the workplace, and author of Hardball for Women: Winning at the Game of Business.
In Depth: Mind Over Mood
In Pictures: Seven Common Body Language Mistakes
In Depth: You're Sick. Now What?
In Pictures: World's Most Expensive Fast Food
In Pictures: World's Most Expensive Commutes
In Depth: Mind Over Mood
"A woman can be perceived as Miss Congeniality for six or seven months, but she does that one bitchy thing and that label will stay with her for a year or two," agrees Courtney Lynch, co-founder of Lead Star, a leadership consulting group out of Fairfax, Va.
While the implications of an angry outburst--or even a sarcastic eye roll--can have a long-lasting impact on an executive's authority, it can also rock her entire team. Research confirms that a sour mood has a ripple effect. Sigal Barsade, Ph.D., an associate professor of management at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, has done several studies on "emotional contagions" in professional settings and found that, yes, you can catch a bad mood.
Not quite up there with swine flu, but certainly no manager wants negativity spreading throughout her office--especially if she herself is Ground Zero.
The ability to manage your emotions is an essential leadership skill and responsibility. The best managers make the connection between negativity in the workplace and a negative balance sheet. To make the obvious and opposite point, according to Professor Barsade's 2007 study co-authored by Donald Gibson, who is an associate professor of management at the Dolan School of Business at Fairfield University: "Expressing positive emotions and moods tends to enhance performance at individual, group and organizational levels."
"Especially with the economy right now, people look to leaders for calm in a chaotic environment," says Lynch, co-author of Leading from the Front: No-Excuse Leadership Tactics for Women.
People generally experience a bad or angry mood as a response to fury, fear or failure--real or perceived. So what do you do when a phone call from your sitter reporting that your twins just flooded the bathroom--again--strikes just as you're heading into that client meeting?
The first step is self awareness followed by self control. Admit to yourself that, yes, you're in bad mood, and then make sure you keep your crabbiness under wraps. "Some people think, 'This is just my thing--I cry, I scream, I get moody,'" says Lynch. "But that the type of stuff alienates people and erodes your credibility."
What can you do? ForbesWoman asked experts in integrative medicine and psychology to share the advice they tell their clients. Some of their suggestions offer a new take (who knew the benefits of a little foot stomping?) while others are wise words worth repeating.
Be Here Now
When you're feeling cranky, it's often easy to pinpoint (or point fingers at) the problem: your boss, your husband, traffic. But while any one or all may be a problem at the moment, they are not in control of your reaction to them. You are.
Managing how you respond to others is oftentimes simply a matter of managing your thoughts, says Steven Alper, LSCW, a consultant with the Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine who teaches stress-reduction techniques to executives. For example, if your boss gives you an extremely tight deadline for a project, it's easy to get caught in an endless spin cycle of whining: I can't believe she did this to me again! Doesn't she realize I have 10 other things to do this week? Not to mention a family at home that needs me--not that she would know what that's like.
In other words, you're wasting precious time and energy ruminating about the past (all those other 11th-hour assignments) and fretting about the future (not finishing in time to get your kids from daycare). The solution, instead, is to bring yourself into the present. Either get to work, recruit help or explain to your boss why the deadline is unrealistic.
Get Grounded
To short-circuit those recurring negative thought patterns, Alper recommends thinking not on, but with your feet. "We literally feel the thinking in our heads, so you want to get away from where the thinking is going on and drop into the body," he says.
Place your feet firmly on the floor (either standing or sitting--and it's OK to stomp each foot just once) and feel the sensation of the soles of your feet pressing on the surface. This will help you get you out of fantasyland and onto solid ground.
Take a Deep Breath
A foul mood may start in the brain, but it also has a physical effect--calling for a physical solution. Proper breathing techniques can help keep a bad mood from turning into a raised voice or nasty IM.
Alper explains that the value of "taking a breath" isn't simply a matter of pushing the pause button. When something upsets us, like a hostile co-worker, we often freeze--and stop breathing. "When we perceive a threat, the primitive part of our brain prepares the body to fight, flee or freeze by sending blood to our arms and legs--and away from the brain--so you feel more confused," he says.
Slow, deep and rhythmic breathing can dissipate that response. "When you take a deep breath, the message that goes to the brain is, OK, all clear,'" says Alper.
To get the most out of deep-breathing strategies, he recommends practicing them for at least 10 minutes each day; otherwise it will be very difficult to access that relaxation state in a moment of crisis. "It's like batting practice or basic training in sports," he says. "You have to learn the basic skills so that you can deploy them in a game situation."
Hit the Pavement
Exercise is another very simple, effective way to check out of the brain and into the body. Unfortunately, when the client meeting is in 15 minutes, you can't exactly duck out for a Pilates class or a five-mile run.
Fortunately, you don't have to. Robert Thayer, a professor of psychology at California State University, Long Beach, found that mood improves dramatically after a brisk walk of only about 10 to 15 minutes. "It has an immediate and positive effect," says Thayer, who is the author of several books on mood, including The Origin of Everyday Moods. "It both releases tension in the muscles and energizes the body."
Bad moods are inevitable, but there are even more ways to work past them. We can help you with more negativity busters in Mind Over Mood.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Final Thoughts
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed are solely of my own and do not represent any other individuals. These are purely my personal thoughts, all of which will eventually be archived. Any occurring disputes will not be entertained nor challenged.
To my dearest baby sister,
I am utterly disappointed with your recent performance at work and your poor attitude that has cost your colleagues inconvenience. I admit that as a brother, I am a failure. I taught you responsibility and yet you learnt nothing. I hope you have a good explanation for your irrational behavior. I understand that you are still young, and as so forgivable by the society's standards. However, know this; our past acts will eventually affect our future. Everything has it cause and effect.
I still have faith however, that you will gradually mature as I did along the years, after all I was just as rebellious, brash and impetuous as you when I was your age. In fact, you remind me of myself when I was 16. I pray you'd grab hold of your own life before it too late.
Dear K******,
These are just my own personal thoughts towards you.. if by any chance you do read this please understand that our relationship; as friends will remain unchanged. Although, I doubt you'd bother in any case.
I just want to remember many years down the road (whether or not by then we're still friends), something of you. In fact, if I ever get the chance to tell the whole world how I feel about you, I sure as hell will. You are my Wonder Woman... you resemble a feminist icon, a woman who survives in a world, an industry ruled by men. Although I'm no big fan of this comic book figure but in some ways, you're like my heroine. I guess you have a strange effect on men.
You're really a fantastic girl, your shortcomings being only your increasing alcholism, fiery temper, your obsession with cleaniness and perhaps your tendency to nag. (I've never told you how annoyed I get when my parents nag at me) Funnier still, you're slowly becoming your mom little by little, not that I actually know her.
Anyway, I don't think you ever realised how happy I was with you, eventually falling for you. Fact, you're the first girl who got to meet my friends, and guess what? They liked you too! You're the kind of girl whom I would be proud to show to my friends and family. Oh yeah sure you smoke, have tattoo but that's not a big deal. I mean really. You're cool to hang out with, fun to be with.. I don't think I ever met such an incredible girl like you. And, just for the record; you've turned my life around.
It took me a long time before I finally reached a final decision to pursue you. A girl like you, isn't easy to win. Then again it isn't always about winning, it about the process. Regardless of the outcomes at the end of our time as friends and colleague, I'm grateful for your presence in my life right now.
To my dearest baby sister,
I am utterly disappointed with your recent performance at work and your poor attitude that has cost your colleagues inconvenience. I admit that as a brother, I am a failure. I taught you responsibility and yet you learnt nothing. I hope you have a good explanation for your irrational behavior. I understand that you are still young, and as so forgivable by the society's standards. However, know this; our past acts will eventually affect our future. Everything has it cause and effect.
I still have faith however, that you will gradually mature as I did along the years, after all I was just as rebellious, brash and impetuous as you when I was your age. In fact, you remind me of myself when I was 16. I pray you'd grab hold of your own life before it too late.
Dear K******,
These are just my own personal thoughts towards you.. if by any chance you do read this please understand that our relationship; as friends will remain unchanged. Although, I doubt you'd bother in any case.
I just want to remember many years down the road (whether or not by then we're still friends), something of you. In fact, if I ever get the chance to tell the whole world how I feel about you, I sure as hell will. You are my Wonder Woman... you resemble a feminist icon, a woman who survives in a world, an industry ruled by men. Although I'm no big fan of this comic book figure but in some ways, you're like my heroine. I guess you have a strange effect on men.
You're really a fantastic girl, your shortcomings being only your increasing alcholism, fiery temper, your obsession with cleaniness and perhaps your tendency to nag. (I've never told you how annoyed I get when my parents nag at me) Funnier still, you're slowly becoming your mom little by little, not that I actually know her.
Anyway, I don't think you ever realised how happy I was with you, eventually falling for you. Fact, you're the first girl who got to meet my friends, and guess what? They liked you too! You're the kind of girl whom I would be proud to show to my friends and family. Oh yeah sure you smoke, have tattoo but that's not a big deal. I mean really. You're cool to hang out with, fun to be with.. I don't think I ever met such an incredible girl like you. And, just for the record; you've turned my life around.
It took me a long time before I finally reached a final decision to pursue you. A girl like you, isn't easy to win. Then again it isn't always about winning, it about the process. Regardless of the outcomes at the end of our time as friends and colleague, I'm grateful for your presence in my life right now.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Change
I've been having those long talks with Clive again lately. We exchanged opinions and I told him about my decisions to leave the team, in return he gave me a challenge to fulfill before I venture out; change everyone's perspective about me and prove my worth to the team.
I'm taking his challenge seriously in effort to make a step up my career and personally, to win back Jasmine's trust and respect.
I'm taking his challenge seriously in effort to make a step up my career and personally, to win back Jasmine's trust and respect.