獨送昏暗莫離的風
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅溫柔好濃
在胸口浮現你的臉容
一起活在這城市迷宮
提起你名字心還跳動
卻沒重逢只留下碰卻又不敢碰的那種激動
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
該怎麼說 讓彼此選擇
但思念還轉動
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔
當又一次美夢落空
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅
溫柔好濃在胸口浮現你的臉容
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
那是什麼 讓彼此選擇
又不僅是尊重
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手卻
比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著 依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡
不能握的手
卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有 最永久
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Last Words
I made one last trip down to visit Kericia, having promised the kids I would not forget their Christmas presents a few months ago. Albeit feeling uneasy after not seeing her for almost 2 months, I picked up the courage to walk up to her door step.
This time, she was with the boyfriend. Kericia and I had no more than twenty minutes' conversation before I forced myself to leave. She asked about the girlfriend, and I told her we broke off. Seeing someone else around I made a few casual comments, not wanting to bitch about the ex nor tell her I had been unfair to the ex; for still loving her while I was with someone else.
I asked about her trip to England, she said she would be staying over with some friends for 6 months and I wished her well. Never got a chance to thank her for inspiring me to do better, nor tell her how much I still love her. Guess somethings are best kept in the closet. I said nothing else afterwards and briefly sent myself off. She's in safe hands now, happy as a bird... time to let go I think.
I bid the kids goodbye. "Byebye Max kor kor!" Alicia chirped with a sunshine smile, engrossed with her computer game while Lucia simply said bye without looking at me. "No manners arh!" Kericia chided her off, and Lucia simply smiled with a mischievous look on her face. I was amused, how much she resembled her mom. I would miss the girls, not having a chance to tell them how much I love them or get a hug from them.
I stepped out the door, put my shoes on, looked at Kericia for the last time and smiled. "Take care" I said. She thanked me for the gifts, acknowledging my efforts as a friend to keep her in my heart. We said our goodbyes, and I knew that it would be the very last time we would meet again.
This time, she was with the boyfriend. Kericia and I had no more than twenty minutes' conversation before I forced myself to leave. She asked about the girlfriend, and I told her we broke off. Seeing someone else around I made a few casual comments, not wanting to bitch about the ex nor tell her I had been unfair to the ex; for still loving her while I was with someone else.
I asked about her trip to England, she said she would be staying over with some friends for 6 months and I wished her well. Never got a chance to thank her for inspiring me to do better, nor tell her how much I still love her. Guess somethings are best kept in the closet. I said nothing else afterwards and briefly sent myself off. She's in safe hands now, happy as a bird... time to let go I think.
I bid the kids goodbye. "Byebye Max kor kor!" Alicia chirped with a sunshine smile, engrossed with her computer game while Lucia simply said bye without looking at me. "No manners arh!" Kericia chided her off, and Lucia simply smiled with a mischievous look on her face. I was amused, how much she resembled her mom. I would miss the girls, not having a chance to tell them how much I love them or get a hug from them.
I stepped out the door, put my shoes on, looked at Kericia for the last time and smiled. "Take care" I said. She thanked me for the gifts, acknowledging my efforts as a friend to keep her in my heart. We said our goodbyes, and I knew that it would be the very last time we would meet again.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
The Little Things That The Girlfriend Does For Me
An impromptu Christmas card personally penned and hand-drawn by the ex-girlfriend.. on it was scribbed,
"Christmas . . . . . meaning of it:
Chocolatety,
Hopeful
Ridiculously cute... (i'm lying!)
Ice creamie
Steamingly hottie
Tamed... by me
Masculine... used to
Amazing
Sweet
What X'mas reminds me... of 'U' "
I am no doubts appreciative of her efforts, she is afterall the only girl who has ever actually made a Christmas card for me by hand. I am impressed and touched.
Wonderwoman
The girlfriend(or ex for that matter) recently chanced upon a post on my Facebook, in which I expressed my intention to see Kericia again. Needless to say I incurred her wrath and we broke up. . . conveniently via SMS. Although I was disappointed with her attitude toward that issue I have to admit, I have been treating her rather unfairly.
Knowing the ex, she's never going to listen to me so I decided I should take this chance to reminisce. You see, the sad thing about Kericia, is that our friendship soured; simply because I broke the rules and let's just say desperately tried to get out of the friend zone. I failed of course, to my regret. Before then, we had a short history as good friends and colleagues often confiding in each other and working together as a team(of sorts).
I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her like she's some kinda icon. She represented feminism and that's really cool. Fact: she's the only woman in my life who proved herself worthy of leadership in an environment ruled by men. Fiesty, fiercely loyal and selfless she resembles Mulan, the heroine from an ancient chinese tale. Despite her age, this 25 year old and mother of two is not to be messed with, because she has an amazing history, enough to be weaved into some kinda drama series. Out of every experience she grew into a sensible and matured woman; which was one of the reasons I took towards her.
Kericia certainly isn't flawless but at best she isn't one bit the materialistic kind, has a free spirit, pleasant and sensitive towards people, holds herself well, respects her peers, works hard and most of all loves her kids. In a relationship, she's definitely not the kind who would demand something from her partner. Her partner instead, willingly submits himself to her. Now anywhere this girl goes anyone will want to be her friend and employers would value her as an asset.
I know by this time if the girlfriend ever does read this she'd be fuming mad but she if doesn't understand the reason for my admiration towards Kericia then suffice to say; she's incapable of accepting my past and the various people I've met throughout my life. Most importantly, she doesn't value the fact that she actually possesses me or the fact that she would someday for her patience and appreciation get the very best from me.
PS: I appreciated her efforts to make me an impromptu Christmas card, which was very sweet.
Knowing the ex, she's never going to listen to me so I decided I should take this chance to reminisce. You see, the sad thing about Kericia, is that our friendship soured; simply because I broke the rules and let's just say desperately tried to get out of the friend zone. I failed of course, to my regret. Before then, we had a short history as good friends and colleagues often confiding in each other and working together as a team(of sorts).
I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her like she's some kinda icon. She represented feminism and that's really cool. Fact: she's the only woman in my life who proved herself worthy of leadership in an environment ruled by men. Fiesty, fiercely loyal and selfless she resembles Mulan, the heroine from an ancient chinese tale. Despite her age, this 25 year old and mother of two is not to be messed with, because she has an amazing history, enough to be weaved into some kinda drama series. Out of every experience she grew into a sensible and matured woman; which was one of the reasons I took towards her.
Kericia certainly isn't flawless but at best she isn't one bit the materialistic kind, has a free spirit, pleasant and sensitive towards people, holds herself well, respects her peers, works hard and most of all loves her kids. In a relationship, she's definitely not the kind who would demand something from her partner. Her partner instead, willingly submits himself to her. Now anywhere this girl goes anyone will want to be her friend and employers would value her as an asset.
I know by this time if the girlfriend ever does read this she'd be fuming mad but she if doesn't understand the reason for my admiration towards Kericia then suffice to say; she's incapable of accepting my past and the various people I've met throughout my life. Most importantly, she doesn't value the fact that she actually possesses me or the fact that she would someday for her patience and appreciation get the very best from me.
PS: I appreciated her efforts to make me an impromptu Christmas card, which was very sweet.
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Amnesia
Had a bizarre dream of waking up to find myself father to a 4 year old daughter, the mom an old former schoolmate who somehow managed to stand by me although I had completely no memory of the years we supposedly had together.
Friday, October 30, 2009
"The truth is, everyone you meet will hurt you at one point or another. You just need to decide who is worth the pain."
at this point in my life, she's the one.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I am proud of my career and my job.. but with every achievement I never forget the sacrifices I made. I lost a potential relationship because I chose to step up my career.. I don't think she will ever understand what I tried to do for her. She never supported my decision nor gave me any blessings.
If I could turn back time and made another choice, maybe I would've chosen to stay by her side. I still love her despite how she takes me for granted. Somehow, a part of me refuses to let her struggle with her life alone. I love her.. I love the kids.
If I could turn back time and made another choice, maybe I would've chosen to stay by her side. I still love her despite how she takes me for granted. Somehow, a part of me refuses to let her struggle with her life alone. I love her.. I love the kids.
Friday, September 18, 2009
"Whatever hit you hit you, if you survive after that then the rest(will be nothing to you)." - Clement Ronald Ng
Thursday, September 10, 2009
WHY EMPLOYEES LEAVE ORGANISATIONS ? - Azim Premji, CEO- Wipro
5. December 2006, 23:26 Uhr
Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. “My learning curve is the sharpest it’s ever been,” he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called “First Break All The Rules”. It came up with this surprising finding:
If you’re losing good people, look to their immediate boss ..Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he ’s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
“People leave managers not companies,” write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?
HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: “If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don ‘t have your heart and soul in the job.”
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.
Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn’t.
“Jack Welch of GE once said. A company’s value lies “between the ears of its employees”.
Every company faces the problem of people leaving the company for better pay or profile.
Early this year, Mark, a senior software designer, got an offer from a prestigious international firm to work in its India operations developing specialized software. He was thrilled by the offer.
He had heard a lot about the CEO. The salary was great. The company had all the right systems in place employee-friendly human resources (HR) policies, a spanking new office,and the very best technology,even a canteen that served superb food.
Twice Mark was sent abroad for training. “My learning curve is the sharpest it’s ever been,” he said soon after he joined.
Last week, less than eight months after he joined, Mark walked out of the job.
Why did this talented employee leave ?
Arun quit for the same reason that drives many good people away.
The answer lies in one of the largest studies undertaken by the Gallup Organization. The study surveyed over a million employees and 80,000 managers and was published in a book called “First Break All The Rules”. It came up with this surprising finding:
If you’re losing good people, look to their immediate boss ..Immediate boss is the reason people stay and thrive in an organization. And he ’s the reason why people leave. When people leave they take knowledge,experience and contacts with them, straight to the competition.
“People leave managers not companies,” write the authors Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman.
Mostly manager drives people away?
HR experts say that of all the abuses, employees find humiliation the most intolerable. The first time, an employee may not leave,but a thought has been planted. The second time, that thought gets strengthened. The third time, he looks for another job.
When people cannot retort openly in anger, they do so by passive aggression. By digging their heels in and slowing down. By doing only what they are told to do and no more. By omitting to give the boss crucial information. Dev says: “If you work for a jerk, you basically want to get him into trouble. You don ‘t have your heart and soul in the job.”
Different managers can stress out employees in different ways - by being too controlling, too suspicious,too pushy, too critical, but they forget that workers are not fixed assets, they are free agents. When this goes on too long, an employee will quit - often over a trivial issue.
Talented men leave. Dead wood doesn’t.
“Jack Welch of GE once said. A company’s value lies “between the ears of its employees”.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Quote of the Day
"There's no need to keep proving yourself to others. Just do what you do best, because if I have to prove the whole world wrong, everyone will be arguing with me." - Clement Ronald Ng
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