Fall

I'm finally stuck, bored beyond wits on a Friday night. I simply miss the days when life was much more happening.... or do I really? I could be rewriting and editing some kiddy love letter for some friend's friend but I thought I'd skip that anyway.

I've nothing left of my life, now that I've given up socialising and going on stupid blind dates. I'm beginning to envision my future as Bruce Wayne(without the alter-ego), or Tony Stark, successful and pathetically lonely bachelor figures. I called up Mei, my Financial Advisor and told her I needed to see her urgently for something important. Astonished, she asked, "what's so important anyway? You getting married arh?!"

"Uh no, that's never going to happen" I said. It as though I'm becoming cynical. Do I believe in love anymore? The answer is no.

I sometimes wonder how on earth I have friends who have seemingly great lives and fantastic other halves. Why in the first place did they have me, a cynical, skeptical and possibly hopeless social dummy as a friend?

I recently re-affirmed my decision to remain single the whole of my life, refusing to believe in hope anymore. I've heard enough, "there's always a lid for every teapot." You know what? Whoever says that to me now is bullshitting. It been tested and proven, I'm meant for nobody. In fact, ever since I was a kid I've been falling out of love. I've had enough wasting my hopes, dreams and resources on love. My heart is dead for good. With my life and career going no-where, I'd soon have nothing left to live for if I don't make amends.