Discoveries and The Sin City of Singapore

I've been meeting a lot of people lately and I've convinced myself, as a friend says, that there are people who do grow old without growing old. A fine example would be this weird fella I met recently through the IRC(Internet Relay Chat). And then, there were also other odd personalities I met along the way.

I was sitting with Stephen, another chatter at McCafe Lido when Selina messaged me, informing me that they arrived. I excused myself and left Stephen to wait at the cafe while I meet up with the girl. Upon finding her, I realised she brought along a queer looking fella by the name Will, a frail bespectacled man with bloodshot eyes, dressed in yellow polo-tee with black stripes and a pair of rather old Bermudas, looking about in his late 20s.

After a simple greeting, I informed them that I would bring them over to meet Stephen and the first conversation I had with Will turned me off. "I'm hungry, I want to have the nasi lemak at Lucky Plaza, so are we eating first then meet him or go there and find him first?"

I remember I did tell him specifically that we were going to meet Stephen first at the cafe before deciding where to go, and he obviously paid no attention to me. The moment we sat down at the cafe and introduced ourselves, he went on again even though Stephen had barely finished his coffee. "I'm hungry, are we going now?"

This fella later on, whom I mentally black listed, leaded us to Lucky Plaza, walking far ahead like an anti-social idiot. Needless to say, the rest of my day simply screwed after..

Selina was another odd character, whom on the surface looked like your average decent 26 year old lady but underneath that appearance laid a rather tragic story. (She actually suffers from Schizophrenia.) At this moment, we believe that she is a half-Chinese and half-Punjabi, as she claims. The reason why I say her life is a tragic one, is due to my discoveries later, when I found out that she lives in a very poor family with no siblings. Her mother, whom she claims to be her foster mother is a jobless old housewife, plagued with knee problems. They quarrel all day like a rat in a snake's den, none giving way to each other. While the mother is a strict conservative woman, the daughter is a rebellious and wilful one. Her father as I only know (also claimed to be her foster father), is currently a security guard and ex-police officer. Looking at her background, I began to believe that it eventually gave rise to her poor mental conditions, ridiculous life style and childish behavior. She has little friends as well and the closest people she has in life are those I abhor; perverts, drug abusers, pimps, and all sorts of shady characters from the dark side of society.

After being with her for nearly 3 days, I've began to see how fortunate and ordinary most our lives are, and with this lesson I've decided to go out there once more and attempt to help stem out the corruption in this country and hopefully one day improve lives of our fellow Singaporeans so that none will suffer the very same fate that befell Selina or her parents. The government claims that life in Singapore has improved a lot, but it come to my realisation that the news is nothing more than a delusion.

Living On The Fast Lane

I've been having strange prophetic dreams lately, as if my dreams are sending signs of my current and future life. I seldom believe in dreams but they seem to tell tales lately from the way I've lived the past few days of my term break.

I woke up today from an odd dream, a dream of me flying and zipping down the highway, soring above fast moving vehicles like Neo in the Matrix. Somewhere in the middle of journey, I realised I left something behind from the spot where I took off, Superman style. The question now remains, what is it trying to warn me from?

Actions Before Decision or Thoughts Before Action?

I met up with long time buddy Tianpeng again and we were on the way home together after dinner when we discussed the subject of individual and corporate management. During our exchange, he enquired, "do you know what drives people to success?"

"It is attitude that drives one to accomplishment", I said. Then referring to my past, I took myself as an example and explained that it was my wrong attitude that led to my downfall during my rebellious days.

"No, you had the right attitude but it was your thinking that led you astray." Tianpeng suggested, "do you know why I said it was your thinking that led you astray and not your attitude?"

I gave him the queer eye and asked for his explanation. "You see," He explained, "attitude is like action, and before every action there is thought, so you think before you move right?"

"Yes, that does make sense... and?" I asked.

"So there must have been something that distracted you along the way and changed your thoughts, then, along with it changed your attitude." Tianpeng quipped, then waited for my protest.

I couldn't help but agree, for once, he got me at my own game. *Tsk tsk~* My my, what wise words from a friend. Moral of the story, it is your thoughts that decide your attitude, not your attitude that affects your thoughts.

Hormones Raging Mad

I don't know why but I'm beginning to behave like I'm desperate, all over again. I'd look at every girl I see on the streets from toe to head, and everyday the only thought that ever bothers me is the fact that I've been spending a large portion of my time alone. I'm looking for company in all the wrong places again, and I just can't seem to help it. *Sighs* I'm desperate and I seriously need a life. Oh God, please just take my heart away and remove me of all emotions and desire, make me work like there's no tomorrow and stop letting me develop the need for a woman's touch.

I'm Getting Fussy

I met Tianpeng this evening, and then we walked around Orchard for quite a while before we stopped at Breeks for some finger food. It took me at least 20 good minutes before I decided to just order a dessert and mocktail. Asked the fella serving us what was inside all the 3 mocktails and he tried his best to give me a satifactory answer.. well not exactly the best but I gave it to him because he's a trainee.

We left Breeks after we had our fill then we walked up and down Orchard before heading all the way down to Cityhall just to hunt for a nice place to eat. It took us nearly 2 hours before the both of us sat down to have our dinner proper LOL. I'm getting very very picky lately.

Lessons with Lawrence

I was talking to Lawrence the other day when he brought up my plans after graduation. Initially, I wanted to stay in Singapore but after that conversation we had I'm beginning to give some thought to it. I don't know where to start, but perhaps I'd contact Justin sometime to see if I could fly over next year. After all, there's this restaurant I'm looking for in Sydney Australia owned by a famous Japanese chef named Tetsuya Wakuda. It still a long way to go from now but I guess every little bit counts, so God knows if I might just acheive something with some sacrifice.

Lawrence has also given me a lot of thoughts to consider after all the talk, it made complete sense to me the more I thought about it, that he said, the people who matter most in your life are those who add value to you and those you can add value to. The people whom you meet initially, are also those that are at first worth your time. *Tsk tsk* Can you not help but agree with him? I absolutely take my hats off to Lawrence. You the man brudder~! These words will be hung up my wall as a mission and as a reminder to myself.

Anyway, I was reading Jaccy's entry on ah tiongs and I think that was hilarious. My classmates were talking about *ah tiongs and as much as I'd like to disagree I can't help but laugh my head off. I happen to have a few "ah tiongs" in my school anyway. (*ah tiongs - a nickname to people from mainland China)

Notes to Myself / To - Do List

1. Do research on AtSunrice academy, and understand history of company.

2. Research on every staff members and update. It is important to know everyone from top to bottom.

3. Find out and update all class member and colleagues' names, contacts and birthdays. A must know.

4. If any projects in future, always plan ahead regardless of who is in charge, and provide a back-up plan behind the scenes in case anything goes wrong at last minute (you'd always have a need for one). It is also important to keep yourself updated regarding members' performance, job list, etc.

5. Constantly correspond with everyone you meet, (even if you do not like them) including friends. A must to recognise your network.

6. Know and understand that your job requires you to be proficient at nearly everything, even if you do not like it. You are a "bao-ka-liao" chef, everything must know. You are your own secretary, manager, admin staff, technician, architect etc. You are not just training to be a chef, but also a restaurant entrepreneur.

7. Daily routine after getting home from school or work - evaluate, update, revise, research then sleep.

8. Whatever your job requires you to do, just do it because it is your duty and obligation to do so.

9. Remember that perserverance will lead you somewhere. Dare to fail, dare to learn.

"Smile
Minimal input, maximum output
Attitude
Respect
Teamwork"
- Emmanuel Stroobant, on 5 keywords of working smart

A Few Words to Live By

"Skills, knowledge and desire. Remember these three and you will be successful." - Chef Christophe Megel, on success.

"Fake it until you make it." - Mark Leong

"Don't make your problems my problems." - Lawrence

The Next Step

It been barely a year since Mark and Christine went separate ways. . . today, Mark is attached to another woman, not exactly something I had expected. Even though I never knew the story behind Mark and Michelle but I'd gladly give him my best wishes.

I only wonder now if Christine knows about the news. To be frank, this reminds me of another Michelle I knew. It been one year and two months that we've broken up, the last I heard from her was what? Febuary, nearly 6 months ago. Rewind a little further, when we celebrated her birthday last November, just 9 months ago. That fateful night, merely 4 months out of our relationship, she told me she met another man and deeply in love with him. I was shattered.

Fast forward till today. Mark and Michelle.. another Michelle, not the one I know. Back then for me, it was Max and Michelle. Today, it is Mark and Michelle, what a cruel irony. No, not the same woman but same name. I do not know where the Michelle I knew has gone but I miss her still, the last I heard from her she was already engaged to the new man.

Today with this, I've decided it time I move on. I took the first step to pursue a diploma, in order to return myself to where I need to be, therefore the next step must follow. My next wish however is to achieve something extraordinary this year, to pursue a relationship, to go after a girl I've long had feelings for, to finally win her heart after pulling back for so many years. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if we still feel the same way for each other as we did years ago. In fact, I'm not even sure if we had any feelings for each other in the first place. We're both busy people, too tired to be in another relationship, with one single goal in our minds: to pursue our careers. As far as I'm concerned, this may well be a lose - lose situation but it is still all at the end a wish anyways. Just something I'd thought I should keep as a note.

An Obligation Is Not An Option, Get That In Your Head!

I am now very assured that my views on my classmates has not been wrong; they are truly a bunch of amateurs or otherwise, childish and selfish individuals. Although my job is not to judge anyone but to work with everyone, I realise I can't help forming impressions of people.

The situation was as such: our chef instructor informed us today, that 6 people would be off tomorrow, but they would be required to stay back on Saturday to help out for coporate functions and that 6 volunteers were needed from the class. What happened next, was that for at least 5 minutes, no one raised their hands, at least until one fella gave up and I followed. 10 minutes after, no one else volunteered. Everyone were instead debating over who to stay, then all I heard from them were lame excuses, need to meet girlfriend, need to meet boyfriend, got family dinner lah(please lor, it just 8-5 job), cousin going to America(for that one, fine, I'd give it to that fella), and worse still; someone even remarked, "those not attached should volunteer". Wow! Really thumbs up to that poor idiot.

It really took quite a while before the last 4 finally gave in. I don't know how, but it happened. Benefits, the 6 who volunteered(including myself) got off class an hour earlier than the rest, and our chef instructor promised that we would have a good lunch that day. Not really something to me, but it noteworthy. It was afterall an obligation. I mean c'mon 1 day out of 365, if you can't dedicate just that one extra day for work, then how on earth would you survive in the workforce? Attached? Have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? If you're meant to be together, just one day out of your whole dating life shouldn't hurt, so what's the hurry? You've got a whole life ahead of you to spend together till you're sick of each other. Family dinner? Like I said, 8am to 5pm, don't tell me you have dinner exactly at 5pm. Seriously, I'd like to see those idiots tell their future employer, " I Saturday cannot work got to meet girlfriend/boyfriend, family dinner...", and we'd see if the boss is merciful enough not to fire their sorry a**.