Fall

“You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully.” - Anthony Robbins

For almost two years, I have been living from one mistake to another, paying both financially and emotionally for my wrong doings. For two years, I have also been living without a stable career. These two years, down the drain, has led me to where I am today.. an absolute nothing.

If God could give me a chance to turn back time, I would probably have decided to change my path and instead of leaving Kitchen Mogu as a reckless young man, I would have worked hard and stayed with the team till it end. Maybe today, things would have been better for me. But then again, a man's worth isn't looking back into the past no matter how glorious it was or how things could have been but he decides to do today.

I've hit rock bottom, the worse of my times and I believe these two years of tribulations should have taught me something if not alot of lessons. From today on, I should very well start righting wrongs and start making better choices and being more aware of what lies ahead. I have to get back on my feet, just as Japan is struggling to rebuild itself.

Abused

I think mothers should be people who take away your pain, who hold you and tell you that everything's going to be okay, and that it okay to be afraid but hurting others will not take away your pain. My mother on the other hand, demonstrated something that I will never forget and will not easily forgive her for. It was probably the same thing that left a scar on my right index finger that is still visible today. She simply went into such a fit of fury I was terrorized, so tramautized that I now lock myself in my room not wanting to see her ever again. A day ago, she came into my room wanting to resolve a problem concerning my insurances. When I decided to give it up, she forced me to call my insurance agent and I refused. She simply sat by my bed and stared at me, but I persistently ignored her. Then when she went out of my room I thought I had finally gotten my peace...... but I was wrong. I locked my door and within ten minutes she came knocking at my door. I refused to open and talk to her, then the horrific thing happened; she banged and slammed my door violently, yelling and demanding me to open up. After that incident, I left home. Thankfully, not having a job or any cash on me, I still have a girlfriend who came to me and provided me comfort. When all my walls were broken down before her, I cried, with her holding me in her arms telling me it okay to cry.. just cry it all out.