五月

昨晚我又回到了 Cosafe 去找 May。她忙着招待顾客所以什么也没说，见我上门只笑了一下便立刻转身，拿着菜单走向客人。当时只有她一个人在店外工作，没等她我就随意替自己找了个座位。May 回头一看，见我坐下了便想拿菜单给我。

“不用了，我知道今天要点什么，就给我一份龙虾浓汤，还有一杯杏仁咖啡。” 我对她说。“还有，麻烦你等我喝完汤后才把咖啡给我行吗？谢谢。”

不一会儿，Desmond 就走过来跟我聊。他是 Cosafe 的管理员，为人友善，时常在工作上也喜欢交流。就是一个星期前随意和我聊起，我们便认识了对方。得知都是同行，他也非常高兴。

他向我问好，跟我握手后便坐下来和我聊几句。

“最近好吗？今天我到这儿，目的是想祝贺你。” 说完我就从公事包里取出一张圣诞卡送给他。

“小小意识，希望你不介意。”我说。

“哦，真是谢谢你！”

我们过后聊了一阵子，等他离开后我便趁机向 May 那么问： “如果送你圣诞卡，你会不会闯祸啊？”

May 回答说：“不会，不过你等我一下。”

她忙了一会儿才回到我座位。很小心得，我把一张卡交给她。“我并没意识想吓你，这只是谢谢你的服务，还有祝你圣诞节快乐。“ May对我毫无疑问得接受我的卡。

”谢谢你！你也一样，圣诞节快乐！“ 她笑着对我说。

我非常紧张，一直没视着她，只注意到她那迷人的笑容。心情突然松懈下来，心里只在想，很高兴她没拒绝我。

不晓得她当时在想什么，是否感到惊讶或是紧张？我只见她非常开心。心跳了一下，不知她的同事们会不会知道我送卡给她。很小口得，我喝着咖啡，脸也红了。May好象刚把消息传给她的朋友。我一边喝咖啡一边祈祷。天啊，不要现在把信封拆开来看！否则我会没脸见人！

过后，她突然走过来跟我说话。”你是住这附近吗？“

”不是，我是在这附近上班。“

”那你是做什么工呢？“

我跟她说我是厨师学徒，她感到非常惊奇。”那么，你是想在这里工作吗？“

我回答说：“哦？不是啦，我。。。只是喜欢这个地方。” 我们两人突然不知所措，其实我很想跟她说：“是因为你，我才踏进这酒笆。” 来不及反应，我的手机响了。没多说什么她也转身离开让我接电话。

回到家后，我就在手机旁等待。虽然对她没什么期望，可是我还是迫不及待的象傻子一样等着她的 SMS。半夜一点钟，我决定放弃。说不定她早已把我送的圣诞卡扔了，或者是太紧张不知道要怎么样开场白。反正我对女生就是没运气，等一百年也没有用，还是别想太多了。

第二天上午，手机真的响了。我很惊讶，呆了一下才把手机打开来看。映光屏出现一个陌生的号码，真的是她！

“Lol...Hi may here but anyway my real name is huiyan, sure we can be fren :) sorry for late reply... anyway morning and evening :)" 发信人:May

说了你们也许不信，就这样，我终于和她成了朋友。

陈奕迅《爱情转移》

曲:christopher chak 词:林夕

徘徊过多少橱窗住过多少旅馆d
才会觉得分离也并不冤枉
感情是用来浏览还是用来珍藏
好让日子天天都过得难忘
熬过了多久患难湿了多长眼眶
才能知道伤感是爱的遗产
流浪几张双人床换过几次信仰
才让戒指义无返顾的交换

把一个人的温暖转移到另一个的胸膛
让上次犯的错反省出梦想
每个人都是这样享受过提心吊胆
才拒绝做爱情待罪的羔羊
会议是捉不到的月光握紧就变黑暗
等虚假的背影消失于晴朗
阳光在身上流转等所有业障被原谅
爱情不停站
想开往地老天荒
需要多勇敢

烛光照亮了晚餐照不出个答案
恋爱不是温馨的请客吃饭
床单上铺满花瓣拥抱让它成长
太拥挤就开到了别的土壤
感情需要人接班接近换来期望
期望带来失望的恶性循环
短暂的总是浪漫漫长总会不满
烧完美好青春换一个老伴

你不要失望荡气回肠是为了
最美的平凡

The Last Page

不知不觉,一年又那么过了. 说长不长,说短不短. . . 今年能说是我在二十二年里最精彩的一年. 我在这时候见识了不少,同时也真的认识了各种各样的人物,在工作上交了一些外地朋友,对自己的将来也终究有些进展. 可是,最令我感到后悔的,就是我和凯黎多年的友情因她对于感情举棋不定,而我被迫与她断绝关系. 或许是我小气, 但话说回来我相信凯黎从来都没把我这朋友认真看待. 渐渐地我也开始了解我这生中最好的朋友就是那些多年里都在一旁为我打气,时时刻刻对我毫无疑义的那群人.我们虽然不常在一起,但每当我出手求助,他们一定进力为我解答,而我也同时能为他们做出一些贡献.

认识了不少女生我终究还是爱着一个女人. 还记得我和蕊琪最后一次通话,她说希望我能为自己找一个新的女友.找了好久我就是爱她一个人,或许我也不再对感情有什么期望. 再说现在自己的生活都搞不定, 想要再爱一次简直就是发疯. 疯,说句实话我也真的是疯. 为了把蕊琪忘掉我竟把自己多年所存下的钱全都花光. 今天仔细想想,我们虽然矢去联络可我开始发觉,分离是为一选择. 如过现在见到她, 恐怕我会不知所措. 难不得让她知道我为她的失去而挣扎多久? 现在的我不再有信心去面对她. 说不定蕊琪也已成了别人妻子, 无论如何后悔也太迟了.

离校多年我一直期望能再次回校上课, 想不到我今日终于成功. 不过为了自己的将来,我也牺牲不少. 当初 Sam 说要让我加薪升职, 我拒绝了他. 我非常感谢 Sam 当初对我的肯定,我也非常感激他一直以来给我的指导,可是很可惜我没办法答谢他. 在 CPK 的日子里其实也过得挺 okay 的,只是没有一张文凭, 恐怕我无发达成愿望成为一明厨师. 很惊奇地是, 我一向来从没准时上班,做事也总是慢吞吞, 可想无知老板还是不停的对我有期望,说什么也好就是没替过割职. 总之现在我终于成为厨师学院的一位学生, 梦想也算是达成一部分了.

还有,我要感谢老天让我再次见到多年没联络的朋友, 琬玲. 其实她也是我在早期前追求的一位女孩, 不过因为发生很多事, 我们始终没有结果. 今日她人变了,但还是老爱把自己的问题藏在心里不求任何人帮忙. 甚为朋友,我应该为她做点事吧?

最后,我就是在今年开始注意自己的形象,几乎是被 Mark 与 Lawrence 说通了. 看一看自己, 那么多年来也总是穿着 T-Shirt,牛仔裤出门, 现在也是时候该变一下了. 随着形象, 希望我也慢慢地改变生活方式. 我年纪也不小了,该是时候学会做人开始成长.这一年所经过的起起落落也算是为将来踏出地一小步.有一天我希望能到外看看世界,同时在一个陌生的国家开始新生活.

"Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it." - Ellen Goodman in The Boston Globe

思念是一总病

当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
一辈子有多少的来不及
发现已经失去
最重要的东西
恍然大悟早已远去
为何总是在犯错之后
才肯相信错的是自己
他们说这就是人生
试著体会试著忍住眼泪
还是躲不开应该有的情绪
我不会奢求世界停止转动
我知道逃避一点都没有用
只是这段时间里尤其在夜里
还是会想起难忘的事情
我想我的思念是一种病
久久不能痊愈

当你在穿山越岭的另一边
我在孤独的路上没有尽头
时常感觉你在耳后的呼吸
却未曾感觉你在心口的鼻息

汲汲营营
忘记身边的人需要爱和关心
藉口总是拉远了距离
不知不觉无声无息
我们总是在抱怨事与愿违
却不愿意回头看看自己
想想自己到底做了甚黱蠢事情
也许是上帝给我一个试炼
只是这伤口需要花点时间
只是会想念过去的一切
那些人事物会离我远去
而我们终究也会远离
变成回忆
oh 思念是一种病
oh 思念是一种病一种病

多久没有说我爱你
多久没有拥抱你所爱的人
当这个世界不在那黱美好
只有爱可以让他更好
我相信一切都来得及
别管那些纷纷扰扰
别让不开心的事停下了脚步
就怕你不说就怕你不做
别让遗憾继续一切都来得及

生日快乐...

Dear Michelle,

今天是你的生日, 不过今年恐怕我们不会再见面,或许这一辈子也不会再见面. 祝你生日快乐, 希望你现在过着幸福的日子.

谢谢你当年给我的爱,虽然失去你是我这一生的遗憾不过认识你却是我这一生中的幸福. 我们失去联络也已经九个月了,因为没办法把你再找回来所以我会默默得祝福你直到我失去记忆.在那之前希望有一天我能在路上见到你和你的孩子.即使你不认得我,我还是会在一旁含笑.

我好累

"我想你是爱我的,我猜你也舍不得

但是怎么说 总觉得

我们之间留了太多空白格." --- 蔡健雅, "Goodbye & Hello"


我现在很想她. . . 分手都已经一年多了我还是忘不了. 说真的,没她的这些日子我一直很痛苦.什么都尝试过,到最后我还是一个人活在黑暗中. 我受够了...

突然好想重新开始. 挣扎了那么久我累了. 明年毕业后我打算放长假, 把一切都忘掉,放下所有的烦恼一个人去旅行. 把自己带到一个新的地方,重新思考.去想想自己该从哪里开始,要的是什么.

下星期8日是Michelle的生日, 可是. . .我无法再和她一起庆祝. 刚好俊豪的女友也是和她同天生日. 今年我就当是做善事,为别人带来快乐. 他说想在当天为女友下厨, 而与他兄弟多年的我不能不帮他.

To Overcome Fear, One Must Become Fear

I've had enough of being judged, criticised, mocked and pushed around.

From now on, no one messes with me.

I will work all day until I eat, sleep, think, and dream of work, until I see it even when I close my eyes.

I will work hours way beyond my schedule to prove that I am willing to learn, that I am a patient and tolerant man.

For every working day I will work from 8AM - 11PM.

In another couple of months, I will know the in and out of their pathetic kitchen operations and their menu, and I will make NO mistakes.

I will be better than EACH and EVERY of them, I WILL show them that I am to be respected and feared.

I will ensure that I have evidence to show my efforts when anyone questions.

I will sacrifice all my energy towards work at TCC not because I am motivated, but because my intense hatred for them has deprived me of options.

I will force myself to smile even when I am raging mad.

Should they refuse to teach and instead push all blames on me despite my tolerance and efforts, I will make each and EVERY ONE OF THEM PAY!!

Posted By A Friend

"Sunday, September 30, 2007 Life

When I was still stuck in the army, I always thought that I'd be the happiest person once I ORD-ed. Of course, I'm so damned glad that it's finally fucking over and I don't ever have to report to or see certain superiors ever again. Or at least, even if I do ever see them again (touch wood), I can bloody well say to their stuck up faces 'I fucking quit!' instead of having to bend over backwards (NOT literally of course! ugh!) to please them or else face another precious weekend facing fellow sweaty dirty and ugly young men carrrying rifles instead of spending time with my girlfriend.

The problem on hand always seems to be the biggest and toughest to tackle. When you were young, it was being able to speak and walk, the most basic skills. Then it came to primary school, where every final year exam seemed like the hardest thing of your life. Primary 4 - Streaming. Primary 6 - PSLE. Then you got to secondary school where O levels seemed like the most important thing of your entire life. Then, depending on whether you went to JC or poly, your A levels or projects or FYPs were the most pressing issue ever. After which, for unfortunate Singaporeans who were born with a X and Y chromosome instead of a double X chromosome, came the dreaded conscription.

However, I digress. A lot. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, no matter how life is, being humans, we tend to complain or worry about what's next. Is there ever an end? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Everybody has problems of his own. It may be big or small, it doesn't matter. To the individual involved, his problem will be the most fucked up and hardest to resolve.

Now that I'm no longer under the chains of the SAF, it still feels kinda surreal. This new-found freedom, the feeling is just amazing. I can do whatever I want, whenever I damn well please. No more signing my name in some dumb book, peeing in my pants trying to request for that ONE pathetic off day from my PC.

So life is perfect now, wouldn't you agree? Wrong! I used to think that when i ORD-ed life would be a bed of roses. Yes, my life is definitely better, without a shadow of a doubt. But it's really just a cycle of life. You face big problems, you get through them with varying measures of success. And then you face brand new problems. And when you get through those, guess what comes around again? You guessed it! Brand new ones!

This is the standard life of an adult Singaporean. It may be severly generalised, but here goes. You graduate from Uni. Secure a job, find a mate, get married. Pay downpayment for a HDB flat and a car. Get a small dog. Give birth to a kid. Promotion and pay rise comes. Upgrade to condo, upgrade car. Join a country club (which has everything your condo already has but you join anyway). Give birth to another kid. Promotion comes around again. Spend even more money, constantly upgrade house and car. Is this what life is about? Maybe. At least that's what the government wants us to believe.

I'm not really complaining. I guess I had so many things that I wanted to achieve when I ORD-ed but haven't really gone about doing it. Maybe I shouldn't set so many goals for myself. Fuck.

You know The Sims, that game where you move little people to do life's mundane tasks. I feel like a fuckin' Sim right now.Life sometimes rocks, sometimes sucks. It really depends on when you ask a person. "

PS: I thought this entry was meaningful, and honestly, I think it possibly the most constructive post. Apologies for ripping the entry off from your blog by the way.

Unexpected Advice

I am amazed at how people can give you help when you never asked for it. Recently, I met a few in school and today, I'm feeling a lot more at ease thanks to these people.

It was only a week ago when I met the first. I was admiring an arts exhibition upstairs from my classroom when this old man came up to me and struck a conversation with me, all the while dropping advice and his opinions of life even though I never asked. As though God sent, the words anchored deep into my head. Those were answers I had been seeking for a long while, and just when I thought all hopes are lost, some stranger comes by and hands you valuable pieces of advice.

The second person whom has helped me without request was one of my classmates from Malaysia. We were merely talking about work when he decided to share the lessons he had learnt from his attachment at Sentosa. I was deeply impressed and envious. Even today, he is sharing his lessons and opinions with me. At the same time, I've gotten to know of this new girl in class whom I now regard as a sister and friend. She adviced me about my setbacks and offered me solutions, regarding my work attachment and my depression due to bad working environment.

"Dun becos of people then degrade yourself, and most importantly .. start in tiny steps first then go for the big steps later" She said.

These people have contributed to me, and I am deeply grateful to them especially at this point of my life; when I'm currently going through the toughest period in 22 years of my life. I hope that someday I may give back to them what I earn along the way, and share my treasures with them.

All I Want Is Some Peace and Quiet

Sometimes, I just wish I could roar, shout, scream and kick. I get home and all I get is parents nagging at me all day long. I've had enough of their endless complains and naggings. As much as I appreciate their concerns for me, I just want some peace and quiet without them going on and on as though it'd help me one bit.

Why is it nobody ever listens to me when I talk? My classmates don't listen, people don't listen, even parents don't listen. Am I non-existent? Are my opinions and feelings worth nothing? Why is it that the whole world seems to deserve their right to shoot their f**king mouths off while I always have to keep quiet? Do I not derserve to rant, rave and have my own space? Am I not human? Am I worth nothing?

I've had enough bullsh*t from work and school, now I come home I still have to endure the noise. Does anyone ever understand my sorrows, my stress and anything I do at all? Does anyone ever care about the loneliness, isolation and misery I go through? I'm only glad I never reached the edge where I begin to contemplate suicide. I seem to have a determination not to die by my own hands, rather wanting to go away with honor and glory. I'd rather die a hero or not die at all.

"Wah This One Have To Aim Properly!"

As I was walking out from one of the washrooms at Bugis Junction today, I couldn't believe my ears when this uncle walked in and commented upon seeing the urinal, "wah this one have to aim properly arh!" then he simply leaned against the wall infront of the urinal and did his business.

That was definitely the most hilarious comment I've heard this week. What? Like, you mean you've been spraying all around your whole life? *TSK TSK~!!*

Rapidly Dying 47-Year-Old Professor Gives Exuberant ‘Last Lecture’

Short Term Goals

To Achieve Within 6 Months

• Lower phonebill to $80 per month
• clear debts (phonebills, fines, etc)
• save up $100 per month
• live independantly (and problem free) without social life
• limit expenditure to $300 per month
• retain connection with Mark, Lawrence, Jacq and former Chillicrap members
• re-establish connection with former BPGHS schoolmates - BP06 Gang; Stanley, Edward and CO.
• build up fitness and get back in shape
• understand TCC's operations and menu

To Achieve By 2008

• Obtain Diploma in Culinary Craft & Service Excellence with credits and WSQ/WDA Certificate
• understand requirements for overseas work placement
• sufficient funds for overseas trip / employment
• save up funds to obtain a Driver's License
• introduce BPGHS to At-Sunrice diploma courses

"Does the art of woodcarving evoke some episodes of pain in your own life? If you were the trunk, do you then interpret your life through the filter of suffering and pain, seeing yourself a victim of your own circumstance, or do you instead anticipate your eventual triumph and elevation of your spirit after the work is done and you stand before all as a piece of art? You decide." - Christopher Lim

"Okay I Think I've Said Enough. . ."

While I was on my way home from the bus interchange, this young lady approached me and introduced herself. A quick glance told me she's trying to sell me another "great" insurance plan, and reluctantly I let her talk me into sitting down.

5 minutes into our conversation, she brings up a folder just as I expected then begins to introduce me to this MediShield plan they have. She did not even bother to look into my folio to see if I had any other needs. A little while later, I remain unconvinced. Enter Unnamed Guy, half way into our conversation. He smiled at me, and without first shaking my hands the fella sat down with an air of cockiness before introducing himself(to which I forgot his name). The next thing I know, the idiot decided to pull off a joke, "Don't you think I'm handsome?" said Unnamed Guy chuckling to himself while I reluctantly faked a laughter. I was amused at how unprofessional this guy was, cuts into conversations, invites himself in unceremoniously. . . I swear I almost wanted to leave.

Wanting to hear whatever goods they might offer, I continued amusing them. As usual, Unnamed Guy decided to push further into the MediShield Plan, absolutely convinced I need it badly without first checking my needs and claiming to help me like the "noble" people they are. I was not impressed. 20 minutes later, I was still unconvinced and with arms crossed, I said very firmly, "I still need to think this through very thoroughly".

With a very pissed look on his face, he mumbled something to the girl and looked at me with his face slightly turned to the side. "Okay, I think I've said enough. Thank you very much for your time."

With that I thanked him as politely as I could and left. I was definitely pissed and this wasn't the first time someone from Prudential got on my black list. The joker was only fortunate I did not obtain his name card or I would have made sure very personally that Prudential gets my "blessings" the next morning. "Prudential again!" I thought to myself and decided the next time an agent from Prudential shows up, I'd scrutinised the agent from head to toe before I think about signing on the dotted line.

Insurance agents these days just think they're very smart. Young lads and young ladies have no qualms about selling their Plans without even first considering the needs of the customer/client and gaining their trust. Just like untrained service staffs, they lack positive attitude and behave unprofessionally. I can only wonder how they managed to get into the industry, and I pity the companies for having such poor untrained employees. The keyword I think everyone should work with today is Service Excellence. Without it, you're worthless.

PS: HuiYee thinks I'm being over demanding and has expressed displeasure doing any possible business with me in future.

My Top Few Priorities From Now On . . .

1. Health and fitness
2. Career
3. Money
4. Family
5. Friends
6. Female relationships

5 Years Later, I Wish To. . .

1. Be able to have a stable job with leading position in a kitchen
2. have sufficient income to fully support myself, with enough to rent or invest in property
3. have a drivers' license
4. have worked in at least 2 or 3 different countries, from Europe to Asia
5. be able to save up for parents to retire in peace
6. have sufficient income to rent or invest in a car
7. officially date a girl
8. be able to finally have a proper relationship
9. see Mark happily married, with or without children
10. be able to witness Andy and Julia's wedding
11. get Lawrence a good wife (if he hasn't any by then)

"Come to your senses. It is not the things of this world, be they chocolate or brown rice, that lead you astray. Losing your way comes from giving no mind to what is present while chasing after imaginary pleasures which are illusive and unobtainable. To wake up is to know what is already yours. " - Edward Espe Brown

Confused

As we were admiring the scenery somewhere in Punggol, I waited until we were alone before I finally decided to spill the beans. I told her how much she resembled my ex and she wasn't appalled, instead she was more interested to know what was similar between her and Michelle.

We had a little chat later on, and in between conversations we learnt a bit about each other. Judging from our personalities and perspective, I conclude once again that it just wouldn't be possible for us to be together.

I miss her now, but I don't know if I miss her more than I miss Michelle. In fact, I don't even know why I miss her. I wonder if I miss her simply because she looks and behave like Michelle or because I actually enjoyed being around her... I must be out of my mind, deluded and insane. We've been out together for no more than one week anyway, and never alone together.

I met up with some net friends today, and I realised that there's this girl who resembles Michelle. She has her eyes.. her smile, but she's just taller and a little bigger size than my ex. Her eyes are just slightly larger than Michelle, but those sparkly eyes are the same.. as though they're twins.... her lips.. her smile, just slightly bigger than that of Michelle's. She absolutely reminds me of her. For the second time in my life, there's another girl who looks like my ex-girlfriend.

I must not get involved with her. I must avoid her or I'd lose control of myself and let my heart get to my brains. I miss Michelle, I miss her like crazy.

"The way to change the world starts with Acts of Random Kindness, one at a time." - Morgan Freeman as God in Evan Almighty

Lunch at the patio

Bleah~!

Our class assignment cum lunch for the day, Minestrone Soup(top) and Thai Green Curry Chicken(bottom)

On Cooking, a hardcover book with 1406 pages worth of information. Believe or not, it my textbook!

"How Come You Can Speak Mandarin?"

Deciding to pay a visit to my former colleagues and kitchen manager Sam and Hairul, I went down to California Pizza Kitchen today after I finished school.

As I sat down to have dinner with Indra and Aidil, this China girl came over and looked at me, curious. Knowing what's on her mind without asking, I smiled and explained in fluent mandarin, "I used to work here."

Somehow surprised, she asked, "Are you a Singaporean or (China)Chinese?"

"I'm a Singaporean." I replied.

"How come you can speak mandarin?" the poor girl asked, baffled.

"That's because I'm a Chinese, you can't tell?" I said.

"So all Singaporean Chinese can speak mandarin?" she asked.

The conversation amused me, because this was not the first time a China national asked me these questions. Alamak, you think all Singaporean Chinese *jiak gung dang one meh? We may be an English speaking nation, but for your information we Chinese actually still speak mandarin(although not fluently).

*jiak gung dang - eating potatoes; in hokkien, often used to describe English speaking Chinese

性格水果

你的性格水果: 香蕉

香蕉男孩
◆个性
　　做事不干脆的男生，且有时会被认为是个不懂自尊是何物的人。平常面对人总是笑嘻嘻的，而这笑容常让人感到不自在。个性虽然有点任性但内心却是很纯真的。

◆恋爱·结婚倾向
　　容易同时跟很多异性一起交往，是个博爱型的人，但是他对于每一份感情又都是很认真的，属于敢爱敢恨型，对他而言，外遇不是为了好玩，而是他生存的支柱。

◆工作
　　虽然做事很认真但在公司的薪水并不高，比较属于独立创业才能成功的类型。如果处事太过于清高，不与人同流合污的话，或许会因此受到同事的排挤。

◆金钱运
　　是属于花钱搞异性关系的人，去小酒馆是理所当然的事，而当有女生拜托时，即使自己是过着粗茶淡饭的穷苦日子，也会打肿脸充胖子地给予协助。

外遇指数★★★★★ 恋母情节指数★ 嫉妒指数★★★★

This Blog Is Rated . . .

Mingle² - Austin Singles

Parting Shots

Mark's birthday(8th Aug) - Lawrence, Donovan, Mark and yours truly

Baked morrocan spiced duck pie with grape and mint salad, Tuna tataki with shimeiji mushrooms, Foie grais parfait with toasted brioche (Entree` platter @ Poppi, The Legends at Fort Canning)

'Grande Assiete' Champagne sorbet, Brut Rose jelly and roses, basil pannacotta, Valrhona chocolate and expresso parfait, classic lemon tart, brandy snap with fig cream and raspberries (Desserts from Poppi @ The Legends at Fort Canning)

New Recipe~! Courtesy of Mom

I was having dinner today when I made a little discovery. Mom made two dishes today; Boar Meat in Dark Soy Sauce with Julienne Ginger garnished with Spring Onions, and canned Sardines. After mom and dad had their fill, I threw the two dishes into the rice, mixed everything up and out came something new. Guess what? It was tasty!

With this, I've just been inspired to make new inventions with traditional home made recipes. In fact, this reminds me of the animated movie Ratatouille in which the story also carried the concept of introducing an old traditional dish into a restaurant menu, therefore saving them in the nick of time.

Discoveries and The Sin City of Singapore

I've been meeting a lot of people lately and I've convinced myself, as a friend says, that there are people who do grow old without growing old. A fine example would be this weird fella I met recently through the IRC(Internet Relay Chat). And then, there were also other odd personalities I met along the way.

I was sitting with Stephen, another chatter at McCafe Lido when Selina messaged me, informing me that they arrived. I excused myself and left Stephen to wait at the cafe while I meet up with the girl. Upon finding her, I realised she brought along a queer looking fella by the name Will, a frail bespectacled man with bloodshot eyes, dressed in yellow polo-tee with black stripes and a pair of rather old Bermudas, looking about in his late 20s.

After a simple greeting, I informed them that I would bring them over to meet Stephen and the first conversation I had with Will turned me off. "I'm hungry, I want to have the nasi lemak at Lucky Plaza, so are we eating first then meet him or go there and find him first?"

I remember I did tell him specifically that we were going to meet Stephen first at the cafe before deciding where to go, and he obviously paid no attention to me. The moment we sat down at the cafe and introduced ourselves, he went on again even though Stephen had barely finished his coffee. "I'm hungry, are we going now?"

This fella later on, whom I mentally black listed, leaded us to Lucky Plaza, walking far ahead like an anti-social idiot. Needless to say, the rest of my day simply screwed after..

Selina was another odd character, whom on the surface looked like your average decent 26 year old lady but underneath that appearance laid a rather tragic story. (She actually suffers from Schizophrenia.) At this moment, we believe that she is a half-Chinese and half-Punjabi, as she claims. The reason why I say her life is a tragic one, is due to my discoveries later, when I found out that she lives in a very poor family with no siblings. Her mother, whom she claims to be her foster mother is a jobless old housewife, plagued with knee problems. They quarrel all day like a rat in a snake's den, none giving way to each other. While the mother is a strict conservative woman, the daughter is a rebellious and wilful one. Her father as I only know (also claimed to be her foster father), is currently a security guard and ex-police officer. Looking at her background, I began to believe that it eventually gave rise to her poor mental conditions, ridiculous life style and childish behavior. She has little friends as well and the closest people she has in life are those I abhor; perverts, drug abusers, pimps, and all sorts of shady characters from the dark side of society.

After being with her for nearly 3 days, I've began to see how fortunate and ordinary most our lives are, and with this lesson I've decided to go out there once more and attempt to help stem out the corruption in this country and hopefully one day improve lives of our fellow Singaporeans so that none will suffer the very same fate that befell Selina or her parents. The government claims that life in Singapore has improved a lot, but it come to my realisation that the news is nothing more than a delusion.

Living On The Fast Lane

I've been having strange prophetic dreams lately, as if my dreams are sending signs of my current and future life. I seldom believe in dreams but they seem to tell tales lately from the way I've lived the past few days of my term break.

I woke up today from an odd dream, a dream of me flying and zipping down the highway, soring above fast moving vehicles like Neo in the Matrix. Somewhere in the middle of journey, I realised I left something behind from the spot where I took off, Superman style. The question now remains, what is it trying to warn me from?

Actions Before Decision or Thoughts Before Action?

I met up with long time buddy Tianpeng again and we were on the way home together after dinner when we discussed the subject of individual and corporate management. During our exchange, he enquired, "do you know what drives people to success?"

"It is attitude that drives one to accomplishment", I said. Then referring to my past, I took myself as an example and explained that it was my wrong attitude that led to my downfall during my rebellious days.

"No, you had the right attitude but it was your thinking that led you astray." Tianpeng suggested, "do you know why I said it was your thinking that led you astray and not your attitude?"

I gave him the queer eye and asked for his explanation. "You see," He explained, "attitude is like action, and before every action there is thought, so you think before you move right?"

"Yes, that does make sense... and?" I asked.

"So there must have been something that distracted you along the way and changed your thoughts, then, along with it changed your attitude." Tianpeng quipped, then waited for my protest.

I couldn't help but agree, for once, he got me at my own game. *Tsk tsk~* My my, what wise words from a friend. Moral of the story, it is your thoughts that decide your attitude, not your attitude that affects your thoughts.

Hormones Raging Mad

I don't know why but I'm beginning to behave like I'm desperate, all over again. I'd look at every girl I see on the streets from toe to head, and everyday the only thought that ever bothers me is the fact that I've been spending a large portion of my time alone. I'm looking for company in all the wrong places again, and I just can't seem to help it. *Sighs* I'm desperate and I seriously need a life. Oh God, please just take my heart away and remove me of all emotions and desire, make me work like there's no tomorrow and stop letting me develop the need for a woman's touch.

I'm Getting Fussy

I met Tianpeng this evening, and then we walked around Orchard for quite a while before we stopped at Breeks for some finger food. It took me at least 20 good minutes before I decided to just order a dessert and mocktail. Asked the fella serving us what was inside all the 3 mocktails and he tried his best to give me a satifactory answer.. well not exactly the best but I gave it to him because he's a trainee.

We left Breeks after we had our fill then we walked up and down Orchard before heading all the way down to Cityhall just to hunt for a nice place to eat. It took us nearly 2 hours before the both of us sat down to have our dinner proper LOL. I'm getting very very picky lately.

Lessons with Lawrence

I was talking to Lawrence the other day when he brought up my plans after graduation. Initially, I wanted to stay in Singapore but after that conversation we had I'm beginning to give some thought to it. I don't know where to start, but perhaps I'd contact Justin sometime to see if I could fly over next year. After all, there's this restaurant I'm looking for in Sydney Australia owned by a famous Japanese chef named Tetsuya Wakuda. It still a long way to go from now but I guess every little bit counts, so God knows if I might just acheive something with some sacrifice.

Lawrence has also given me a lot of thoughts to consider after all the talk, it made complete sense to me the more I thought about it, that he said, the people who matter most in your life are those who add value to you and those you can add value to. The people whom you meet initially, are also those that are at first worth your time. *Tsk tsk* Can you not help but agree with him? I absolutely take my hats off to Lawrence. You the man brudder~! These words will be hung up my wall as a mission and as a reminder to myself.

Anyway, I was reading Jaccy's entry on ah tiongs and I think that was hilarious. My classmates were talking about *ah tiongs and as much as I'd like to disagree I can't help but laugh my head off. I happen to have a few "ah tiongs" in my school anyway. (*ah tiongs - a nickname to people from mainland China)

Notes to Myself / To - Do List

1. Do research on AtSunrice academy, and understand history of company.

2. Research on every staff members and update. It is important to know everyone from top to bottom.

3. Find out and update all class member and colleagues' names, contacts and birthdays. A must know.

4. If any projects in future, always plan ahead regardless of who is in charge, and provide a back-up plan behind the scenes in case anything goes wrong at last minute (you'd always have a need for one). It is also important to keep yourself updated regarding members' performance, job list, etc.

5. Constantly correspond with everyone you meet, (even if you do not like them) including friends. A must to recognise your network.

6. Know and understand that your job requires you to be proficient at nearly everything, even if you do not like it. You are a "bao-ka-liao" chef, everything must know. You are your own secretary, manager, admin staff, technician, architect etc. You are not just training to be a chef, but also a restaurant entrepreneur.

7. Daily routine after getting home from school or work - evaluate, update, revise, research then sleep.

8. Whatever your job requires you to do, just do it because it is your duty and obligation to do so.

9. Remember that perserverance will lead you somewhere. Dare to fail, dare to learn.

"Smile
Minimal input, maximum output
Attitude
Respect
Teamwork"
- Emmanuel Stroobant, on 5 keywords of working smart

A Few Words to Live By

"Skills, knowledge and desire. Remember these three and you will be successful." - Chef Christophe Megel, on success.

"Fake it until you make it." - Mark Leong

"Don't make your problems my problems." - Lawrence

The Next Step

It been barely a year since Mark and Christine went separate ways. . . today, Mark is attached to another woman, not exactly something I had expected. Even though I never knew the story behind Mark and Michelle but I'd gladly give him my best wishes.

I only wonder now if Christine knows about the news. To be frank, this reminds me of another Michelle I knew. It been one year and two months that we've broken up, the last I heard from her was what? Febuary, nearly 6 months ago. Rewind a little further, when we celebrated her birthday last November, just 9 months ago. That fateful night, merely 4 months out of our relationship, she told me she met another man and deeply in love with him. I was shattered.

Fast forward till today. Mark and Michelle.. another Michelle, not the one I know. Back then for me, it was Max and Michelle. Today, it is Mark and Michelle, what a cruel irony. No, not the same woman but same name. I do not know where the Michelle I knew has gone but I miss her still, the last I heard from her she was already engaged to the new man.

Today with this, I've decided it time I move on. I took the first step to pursue a diploma, in order to return myself to where I need to be, therefore the next step must follow. My next wish however is to achieve something extraordinary this year, to pursue a relationship, to go after a girl I've long had feelings for, to finally win her heart after pulling back for so many years. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if we still feel the same way for each other as we did years ago. In fact, I'm not even sure if we had any feelings for each other in the first place. We're both busy people, too tired to be in another relationship, with one single goal in our minds: to pursue our careers. As far as I'm concerned, this may well be a lose - lose situation but it is still all at the end a wish anyways. Just something I'd thought I should keep as a note.

An Obligation Is Not An Option, Get That In Your Head!

I am now very assured that my views on my classmates has not been wrong; they are truly a bunch of amateurs or otherwise, childish and selfish individuals. Although my job is not to judge anyone but to work with everyone, I realise I can't help forming impressions of people.

The situation was as such: our chef instructor informed us today, that 6 people would be off tomorrow, but they would be required to stay back on Saturday to help out for coporate functions and that 6 volunteers were needed from the class. What happened next, was that for at least 5 minutes, no one raised their hands, at least until one fella gave up and I followed. 10 minutes after, no one else volunteered. Everyone were instead debating over who to stay, then all I heard from them were lame excuses, need to meet girlfriend, need to meet boyfriend, got family dinner lah(please lor, it just 8-5 job), cousin going to America(for that one, fine, I'd give it to that fella), and worse still; someone even remarked, "those not attached should volunteer". Wow! Really thumbs up to that poor idiot.

It really took quite a while before the last 4 finally gave in. I don't know how, but it happened. Benefits, the 6 who volunteered(including myself) got off class an hour earlier than the rest, and our chef instructor promised that we would have a good lunch that day. Not really something to me, but it noteworthy. It was afterall an obligation. I mean c'mon 1 day out of 365, if you can't dedicate just that one extra day for work, then how on earth would you survive in the workforce? Attached? Have a girlfriend or a boyfriend? If you're meant to be together, just one day out of your whole dating life shouldn't hurt, so what's the hurry? You've got a whole life ahead of you to spend together till you're sick of each other. Family dinner? Like I said, 8am to 5pm, don't tell me you have dinner exactly at 5pm. Seriously, I'd like to see those idiots tell their future employer, " I Saturday cannot work got to meet girlfriend/boyfriend, family dinner...", and we'd see if the boss is merciful enough not to fire their sorry a**.

Those who profess to favor freedom and yet depreciate agitation, are people who want crops without ploughing the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning; they want the ocean without the roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand; it never has and it never will. - Frederick Douglass

"Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment. … Instead of condemning people let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intruiging than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. To know all is to forgive all.” - Dale Carnegie, auteur van How to Win Friends and Influence People

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone, South Park, Prehistoric Ice Man, 1999

Now my friends, I am opposed to the system of society in which we live today, not because I lack the natural equipment to do for myself but because I am not satisfied to make myself comfortable knowing that there are thousands of my fellow men who suffer for the barest necessities of life. We were taught under the old ethic that man's business on this earth was to look out for himself. That was the ethic of the jungle; the ethic of the wild beast. Take care of yourself, no matter what may become of your fellow man. Thousands of years ago the question was asked; ''Am I my brother's keeper?'' That question has never yet been answered in a way that is satisfactory to civilized society.
Yes, I am my brother's keeper. I am under a moral obligation to him that is inspired, not by any maudlin sentimentality but by the higher duty I owe myself. What would you think me if I were capable of seating myself at a table and gorging myself with food and saw about me the children of my fellow beings starving to death.
-->Eugene V. Debs: 1908 speech

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

A proverb I read off someone's MSN:

"What you are is God's gift to you, what you do with yourself is your gift to God. "

Good Riddance

Munib, who had been my partner at the Prep Station recently left for a change in career. Finally, there is no one around to interrupt my work. Of course, it not that my colleague hasn't been helpful, just that more than often our interests clash. While his concerns are often about getting something done quick and easy, I'm often more concerned about getting something done, the right way. Today, working with me in place of Munib is Bharat, a 32 year old Nepalese, a frail humble man who's polite manners are a far cry from that of my former colleague.

Coincidentally this week, we'd be receiving a visitation from the US management, while at the same time I've been given 7 days to guide and familiarise Bharat with the Prep Station. Tasked with keeping things squeaky clean and in good quality, this week will be both a challenge to me and a chance to show the bosses what I'm made of.

Death By Artificial Intelligence?

"At age 35 the artificial intelligence software you programmed becomes self aware and devours you. You will be saved to disk though, so no worries."

Wow, what a way to go down and that's about 13 years more for me to live. Looks like I should start enjoying myself now before I get devoured.. somehow, by my own AI? So says the "new and improved" Death Predictor. Say what?! Yup your eyes are not deceiving you.

Pinched

Marichu, the Filipino colleague has been displaying unusual behaviors lately, which I suspect developed under Radzi's influence. It a cause for worry when she gets along so well with that rascal, because Radzi is not just bad influence but also a loose cannon and a womaniser. Marichu is a naive, innocent little girl who is over friendly and sometimes I suspect dangerously curious.

The first symptoms started when Mary(also known as Marichu) came behind me one night and leaned against the counter with her left arm behind my waist while I was waiting for the guests' bills, almost as though we were couples. I thought I could see a cheeky smile. Of course, being Mary, I assumed she was just mischievous. The last thing I know, I received a pinch on the butt the second time she passed by behind me. Why would I not be happy with that? I mean, any guy would be thrilled to be sexually harrassed by a woman but in this case, the damage done by Radzi is alarming.

Anyway, Lily has been looking for a new job lately and after getting to know a little more about her, along with some research of my own, I realised that Lily possesses nothing more than a student pass in Singapore. Her school is not registered with the Ministry of Manpower , therefore disallowing her to be employed. It tragic that there are so much rules and regulations to follow.. all she wants to do is to help her mother out by earning extra income for the family of 3, who are staying in a rented property. As far as I'm concerned, I can't do much for her but hopefully we'd be able to come up with a good solution together one day. At the very least, I'd want to make her one year stay here in Singapore as pleasant as possible.

Message From An Old Flame

"This is michelle wishing u a Happy Valentine's Day Max..." - 01:36AM

I couldn't help but feel happy, that even though we're apart and no longer in contact, she would still wish me Happy Valentine's Day. It the best Valentine's Day gift I received the whole of my life.

Snapshot of The Day

Left to right: Marichu, Frank, Padil, Renu, Ronaldo

Our friendly servers waiting for roll call on a typical Sunday.

I just had to take pictures because the weather lately seemed so good. The skies were just clear blue. Here's quoting from Mr.Miyagi:

"And the weather has been oddly pleasant too, and I’m questioning it as if we don’t deserve good weather after a year of blazing saddle days and flash flood storms. I think better enjoy while stocks lasts."

Remember The Name

The phone rang and I picked it up to hear a woman's voice.

Me: "Good morning, CPK may I help you?"

Caller: "Who is this on the line?"

Me: "This is Max speaking."

Caller: "Is Suhaimi around?"

Me: "Suhaimi? Hold on a while."

*goes off to look for the manager only to find he's not around.

To Colleagues: "Where's Suhaimi arh? Got see him around?"

Colleague: "Why? Who is on the line?"

Me: "Dunno leh. Wait arh."

Me: "Hello, thank you for waiting, may I know who this is?"

Caller: "I'm calling from the office. Is Suhaimi around?"

Me: "Oh.. I see. I'm sorry but he's not around at the moment, can I get him to call back? Or.."

Office: "Is there anyone around I can talk to? Is there any other manager around right now?"

Me: *Looks around "I have Sam around. Is it okay?"

Office: "Are you busy right now?"

Me: "Erm not really."

Office: "You just finished setting up?"

Me: "Er.. yeah." *wonders why so many question

Office: "Max is it? Are you from the front house?..." *conversation drifts off

Me: "Sorry?"

Office: *caller again talks so fast I couldn't catch a word.

Me: "Er.. sorry? What is it again?"

Office: "EH WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I'M ASKING IF YOU'RE FROM THE FRONT HOUSE!!"

Me: "Oh, er.. yes yes I'm from the front house."

Office: "Who is around right now?! Is there any other front house staff around like Zaki or anyone else?"

Me: *Looks around again "I have Siti here. Issit okay?"

To colleague: "Erm Siti, line 1 for you." *hands the phone over to colleague afterwards

BITCH! **KNN CCB! I thought to myself. Didn't tell me her name and still have the f*cking nerves to shout at me over the phone just because I asked twice what she was saying. I mean what rights has she? Just because she's from the main office means she has the rights to shout at me?? Just who is this bitch? I kept mumbling under my breathe before my colleague put down the phone. "Who was that on the phone just now arh?"

"Linda." Said my colleague.

Making a mental note, I sworn I would remember that goddamn bitch's name and I'd remember her well if I see her one day. "Linda huh? I'd remember her name." I said, furiously before I got back to work. I hate arrogant people, and I hate people who can't speak politely over the phone. People like that, deserve a bitch slap to the moon. They must have very low esteem to need to act like kings and queens to feel good about themselves.

** note: short form of a hokkien swear word.

Boy Meets Girl

After a good night's sleep, I woke up early in the morning to the beep of my cellphone. I opened my eyes to find Lily's message, "sorry that I fell asleep last night, keke! Alright, I'm free today."

Within a short time, I was out of bed, ready for the day. I probably hadn't felt such joy in a long time, in fact I couldn't remember the last time I felt so good because I, had actually managed to date Lily out! Later in the evening, I spent a good few minutes trying out the wardrobe, not wanting to embarass myself. Half an hour before our meeting time, I was already waiting at Bugis MRT station, my heart beating uncontrollably fast. After a short 10 minutes, I grew anxious and decided to take a short walk before I drive myself crazy.

Half an hour later, I walked back to the control station, still feeling nervous. The last time I felt this way was when I first met my ex-girlfriend, but this time I was waiting for someone else, constantly wondering if she would turn up. It wasn't until 15 minutes pass the meeting time when she finally arrived, dressed in a white cotton blouse, short black skirt and white sandals. Lily looked beautiful that night. I took her to a restuarant for dinner and we had a good time together. After dinner, we walked down to the Esplanade where I took her for a boatride around the Singapore River, literally touring her around, sharing bits of history I know about my own country.

Then by midnight, I sent her home. It was an unforgettable evening for the both of us, and we decided to meet again some other day.

A Life Less Ordinary

4 days ago....

I couldn't take my eyes off from this girl, who looked suspiciously like a Chinese. It was a relieve, like a wind after a hot day. Working at my restuarant was like working in a muslim environment as most of my colleagues were either Malays, Indonesians, Fillipinos or Nepalese. But on the 2nd day of Febuary 2007, my life took an instant turn, when an 18 year old China girl came up to greet me...

It was in the early morning at 9:20AM when I reach my workplace. Late again as usual, thanks to the traffic. Just like everyday, I began work feeling lethargic. I actually disliked this place, for there was barely much reasons for me to stay, but everyday I fought those thoughts, knowing if I gave in, I would be a loser, a disgrace to Singaporeans for being a quiter and a quiter I am certainly not. I believe a man sometime has to put himself in places he doesn't necessarily like in order to survive. I had been offered jobs with both better pay at more comfortable paces before, but I turned them all down. Well, not that I'm really great, but anyone should know that convenience comes with a price.

So anyway, the usual routine began, getting the supplies out from the chiller every morning, transferring the soups to new pots for heating up, then simply turning on the stove. At that very moment, just as I walk back to my prep station from the front kitchen, I spotted an unfamiliar figure. Must be a new colleague, I thought, as we have temps coming in from few parts of South East Asia. She looked like a Chinese but yet she had slightly dark skin which meant she could possibly be a Filipino or Indonesian, or at best a Singporean chinese. So for the rest of the morning, I began to guess her nationality and observing her whenever she passed by. I was simply curious. It wasn't until early afternoon at around 11.15AM when I again checked back on the soup pots to get them ready for the day. Meanwhile, Marichu, my Filipino colleague along with the new girl tagging behind, came up to me and with a joyous tone, annouced to the new girl, "He's also chinese!"

Long hair with very gentle features that was distinctively different from a Singaporean, the girl immediately introduced herself as Lily, flashing a smile that said she had finally found a friend, a race of her own. We were both chinese after all. Awkwardly, I shook her right hand with my left, having stained my hand with gravy from setting the soup pots. At that very instant, I too felt a connection to her. I could foresee that we would get along quite well, or at least I would like to think so.

We did not talk much afterwards, until one day later in the late afternoon when I found her snuggling in a corner wearing a sweater. She was probably not used to the air-con environment. I walked towards her, sat down and said in mandarin with a slight tinge of accent, "Is it cold? Why don't we go out for a stroll?".

Lily shook her head, "I think I'd pass, I'm simply too lazy to change into another set of clothes and besides I don't know this place well."

"Well I think you'd feel warmer going out for fresh air, it much better than staying here." I said, assuring her I meant well. "In fact, I'd show you around if you'd allow me to."

"Alright then, please allow me to change into something more comfortable." Lily gave me a very friendly smile, and ran off to the washroom.

A little later on, after much avoiding my fellow colleagues (for the sake of preventing unwanted workplace gossips), we met outside the restuarant and I walked her around the area nearby our workplace. I was thrilled, for once, I'm showing a China friend the tourist hotspots in Singapore. I had never felt more proud about my country than now, especially after watching an episode of Singapore History on Discovery Channel. We got along well that late afternoon, and from then on whenever we passed by each other during work, we would exchange glances and smiles. It was probably noticeable, because my manager Kenneth eventually got wind of our relationship with each other within an evening.

"Hey Max, can go and get your girlfriend. Lily to do the rollups? She's new lah! Cannot cope with crowd." My manager waved for me to get over, giving me a cheeky grin.

2 days ago..

On a Sunday morning, during my off day, a phone call woke me up. It was from an unknown number and I called back reluctantly, wanting to go back to sleep. "Max speaking, may I know who called?"

It was Suhaimi, one of my shift managers. "Suhaimi here arh, eh Max arh can you work today? We need help arh, can work afternoon and evening?" "Priority is at night lah, if you want can work at 6 lah I don't mind, up to you."

I sort of thought for a while, wondering if I should go back to work, "mm.. I'd call you back in an hour's time lah alright?"

"Kay lah then you call me back in an hour. Thanks arh, bye!"

I sighed. For the second time, they needed me back at work. It all began when they sought after me for my experience as a waiter, and ever since, they would put me at the fronthouse as waiter every now and then, even though I felt I actually sucked at it. Not that I disliked customer service, but I just wasn't too familiar with their menu and practice. Things were quite different compared to my previous experiences.

After much nagging from my mother to call them back, I finally picked up the phone an hour later, and that evening, I found myself back at work. When as I arrived, I realised something was amissed, or at least someone was not around. Lily wasn't around, and that was odd. Just as I began to wonder what happened, Eric, the gay colleague walked over. "Eh Max, I got bad news for you. Lily today MC you know? She wouldn't be coming back until after Chinese New Year also."

Hearing that, my heart sank like the Titanic. I was actually expecting to work alongside Lily, as she had overnight became my motivation. "Maxxxx!! What you do? You make Lily MC issit? You two yesterday night go where?" Zaki, one of my other colleague asked, with a semblance to one of the grannies in Fran Drescher's The Nanny.

"Siao arh? Where got so fast make her MC one? Wah lau you think I what?" I joked, trying to disguise my disappointment. That night, I was really low and I could hardly concentrate, all the while worried about Lily's wellbeing. I just had this unexplainable urge to call her up, but I did not have her number and that almost drove me over the edge. Convinced by my fellow colleagues to get her number, I sworn to myself that I would ask her for her contact number the next week I see her.

Little did I know another day later, things would change once again, and it was almost dramatic.....

1 day later -

I arrived at work, anxious. Looking at the schedule, I assumed she would actually be back but as I stepped out of the kitchen towards the lobby, Eric annouced, "Eh Max, I have good news and bad news for you, you want to know a not?" K*n*n*! I thought to myself, idiots trying to add insult to injury. I looked away, pretending to be uninterested. "I tell you lah, Lily not working already. Maybe after Chinese New Year then she come back."

Hearing that, my heart sank, this time like a runaway rollercoaster about to plunge to it death. Her exit was sudden that I realised I would not have a second chance to talk to her.

Then, by a twist of fate on the same day, Lily dropped by the restuarant to look for me. At that time however, I had already gone out for lunch, with no knowledge of her visitation until I returned to the restuarant. It was Iman, a very young handsome Malay waiter who while during our conversation dropped the news to me. "Eh you know Lily just now come look for you?"

"Ha - Ha - Ha. Very funny." I said, sensing another dumb joke.

Iman's expression immediately changed, from a jovious smile to a serious stare, catching me off guard. "Eh, brudder, serious arh?" I asked.

"Your name is Mingxin right?" Iman asked in a curious tone.

"Yeah.. that's my chinese name." I replied.

Iman then attempted to narrate whatever happened during that short period of her presence, "Just now you lah dunnoe go where, she come look for you ask me, 'Is Mingxin around?' then I dunno mah so I ask her, you mean Max huh?" "Then she say 'yah I think so', after that look for you, you not around so go to the back, but you not around also."

Thrilled, I asked Iman what she said, but it was obvious that he couldn't catch half a word what Lily had told him, but whatever bit he said he could catch, was both worrying and relieving to me. "She ask you to 'take care', or something like that". Soon, I was grinning from ear to ear, blushing and giggling like a fool who had just fallen in love. Iman looked at me, smiling, "you like her huh issit?? Can see you blushing already!". Laughing, he had noticed my reaction. I had become infatuated with this China girl and it was written all over my face.

While working, I would even talk about her with another colleague ( since rumours of my relation to Lily had already been spread throughout the workplace anyway). I was skeptical about the possibility of a long distance relationship, and Padil assured me that long distance relationships could be better than short ones, claiming that absence makes the heart grow fond. "Every 6 months or so, I'd go Philippine to see my girlfriend you know?"

The next day, Eric again annouced another news. This time, Lily would not be coming back for the next few weeks. Upset, I finally made up my mind to get her number, by hook or by crook. I just had to try, or regret the rest of my life. I had already lost an opportunity in the past and I had learnt my lesson so I mustered all my courage and quickly approached Kenneth the moment he passed by. "Eh boss boss, ermmmm.. er... you know arh? I heard Lily not working already.."

Kenneth, looking unamused, related her situation to me and after much talking, I finally broke the question, "ermm... ehh.. do you... ahem! Have her number in the employee records?"

"Orhhh, you want her number huh? Can lah, but friend friend lah, don't later huh her mother call us complain, 'how come we go and harass her'." Kenneth then took out his phone and simply flashed her number on the tiny console.

"Oh yes. Definitely definitely, thanks arh boss!" I chirped.

From that night on, Lily and I grew closer..

A Chapter Closes, Another Begins

(Left: dinner with family the night before, xiao long bao @ Holland Village Crystal Jade)

11:30AM - 20th January 2007

I awoke, lying on the bed still feeling lethargic even though I must've slept a good 8 hours. I picked up the phone. No messages. Half a year ago, the situation
would have been different, but then again, it 2007. Time has gone by in the blink of an eye and things are very much different from what I had expected.

Hours later, I headed down to NTUC to shop for groceries. For the first time, I invited my friends over for dinner, though I had absolutely no intentions to celebrate my birthday at all. But, you live only once and I guess it worth a try inviting the most honored friends over, just this once, just for an experience I never had, just to live it so I'd have little to regret in future.

3:30PM -
I'm racing with time, half wishing Michelle* could be around, half knowing that it would never ever happen this life (we had promised each other to do something like that together). I looked at the supplies piled up on the kitchen counter and I steadily began to sort them out. It was only a matter of time when I eventually got my chicken marinated, with plenty of olive oil, minced garlic, chicken marinate, soy sauce and a tablespoon of salt. Marinating your chicken is actually easy, once you get the right ingredients and the portions correct.

6:00PM -
Half an hour more before the guests turn up. Still racing with time, I attempted to get the main course going with decorations done. If only I had better supplies and better skills, I thought to myself. Half satisfied, I finally managed to set all the dishes on the table with a little help from my mother.

11:00PM -
Jacqueline, Jacob and Lawrence couldn't turn up due to their work, too bad, since Only my buddy Tianpeng, Mark, Justin, Andy and the wife came. Everyone enjoyed themselves... well almost, if I had enough time to set up a good after - dinner entertainment for them. Thanks to my friends, I've had the most pleasant birthday of my life. I wasn't actually expecting gifts but nevertheless, the gang bought the most useful presents for me. Thanks so much.












Above: A new slingbag from my sister. Courtesy of Justin, Mark, Andy and Ju respectively, Bottom: "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill, "The Power of Social Intelligence by Tony Buzan and skincare products from The BodyShop.