獨送昏暗莫離的風
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅溫柔好濃
在胸口浮現你的臉容
一起活在這城市迷宮
提起你名字心還跳動
卻沒重逢只留下碰卻又不敢碰的那種激動
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
該怎麼說 讓彼此選擇
但思念還轉動
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手
卻比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔
當又一次美夢落空
回憶裡被愛那股激動
天色好紅
溫柔好濃在胸口浮現你的臉容
也許我們當時年紀真的太小
從那懵懵懂懂 走進各自天空
那是什麼 讓彼此選擇
又不僅是尊重
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著依然執著
與你無關淚自行吸收
不能握的手卻
比親人更親厚
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的溫柔 最溫柔
不能握的手
從此匿名的朋友
其實我的執著 依然執著
卻決心和你不再聯絡
不能握的手
卻比愛人更長久
當所有如果都沒有如果
只有失去的擁有 最永久
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Last Words
I made one last trip down to visit Kericia, having promised the kids I would not forget their Christmas presents a few months ago. Albeit feeling uneasy after not seeing her for almost 2 months, I picked up the courage to walk up to her door step.
This time, she was with the boyfriend. Kericia and I had no more than twenty minutes' conversation before I forced myself to leave. She asked about the girlfriend, and I told her we broke off. Seeing someone else around I made a few casual comments, not wanting to bitch about the ex nor tell her I had been unfair to the ex; for still loving her while I was with someone else.
I asked about her trip to England, she said she would be staying over with some friends for 6 months and I wished her well. Never got a chance to thank her for inspiring me to do better, nor tell her how much I still love her. Guess somethings are best kept in the closet. I said nothing else afterwards and briefly sent myself off. She's in safe hands now, happy as a bird... time to let go I think.
I bid the kids goodbye. "Byebye Max kor kor!" Alicia chirped with a sunshine smile, engrossed with her computer game while Lucia simply said bye without looking at me. "No manners arh!" Kericia chided her off, and Lucia simply smiled with a mischievous look on her face. I was amused, how much she resembled her mom. I would miss the girls, not having a chance to tell them how much I love them or get a hug from them.
I stepped out the door, put my shoes on, looked at Kericia for the last time and smiled. "Take care" I said. She thanked me for the gifts, acknowledging my efforts as a friend to keep her in my heart. We said our goodbyes, and I knew that it would be the very last time we would meet again.
This time, she was with the boyfriend. Kericia and I had no more than twenty minutes' conversation before I forced myself to leave. She asked about the girlfriend, and I told her we broke off. Seeing someone else around I made a few casual comments, not wanting to bitch about the ex nor tell her I had been unfair to the ex; for still loving her while I was with someone else.
I asked about her trip to England, she said she would be staying over with some friends for 6 months and I wished her well. Never got a chance to thank her for inspiring me to do better, nor tell her how much I still love her. Guess somethings are best kept in the closet. I said nothing else afterwards and briefly sent myself off. She's in safe hands now, happy as a bird... time to let go I think.
I bid the kids goodbye. "Byebye Max kor kor!" Alicia chirped with a sunshine smile, engrossed with her computer game while Lucia simply said bye without looking at me. "No manners arh!" Kericia chided her off, and Lucia simply smiled with a mischievous look on her face. I was amused, how much she resembled her mom. I would miss the girls, not having a chance to tell them how much I love them or get a hug from them.
I stepped out the door, put my shoes on, looked at Kericia for the last time and smiled. "Take care" I said. She thanked me for the gifts, acknowledging my efforts as a friend to keep her in my heart. We said our goodbyes, and I knew that it would be the very last time we would meet again.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
The Little Things That The Girlfriend Does For Me
An impromptu Christmas card personally penned and hand-drawn by the ex-girlfriend.. on it was scribbed,
"Christmas . . . . . meaning of it:
Chocolatety,
Hopeful
Ridiculously cute... (i'm lying!)
Ice creamie
Steamingly hottie
Tamed... by me
Masculine... used to
Amazing
Sweet
What X'mas reminds me... of 'U' "
I am no doubts appreciative of her efforts, she is afterall the only girl who has ever actually made a Christmas card for me by hand. I am impressed and touched.
Wonderwoman
The girlfriend(or ex for that matter) recently chanced upon a post on my Facebook, in which I expressed my intention to see Kericia again. Needless to say I incurred her wrath and we broke up. . . conveniently via SMS. Although I was disappointed with her attitude toward that issue I have to admit, I have been treating her rather unfairly.
Knowing the ex, she's never going to listen to me so I decided I should take this chance to reminisce. You see, the sad thing about Kericia, is that our friendship soured; simply because I broke the rules and let's just say desperately tried to get out of the friend zone. I failed of course, to my regret. Before then, we had a short history as good friends and colleagues often confiding in each other and working together as a team(of sorts).
I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her like she's some kinda icon. She represented feminism and that's really cool. Fact: she's the only woman in my life who proved herself worthy of leadership in an environment ruled by men. Fiesty, fiercely loyal and selfless she resembles Mulan, the heroine from an ancient chinese tale. Despite her age, this 25 year old and mother of two is not to be messed with, because she has an amazing history, enough to be weaved into some kinda drama series. Out of every experience she grew into a sensible and matured woman; which was one of the reasons I took towards her.
Kericia certainly isn't flawless but at best she isn't one bit the materialistic kind, has a free spirit, pleasant and sensitive towards people, holds herself well, respects her peers, works hard and most of all loves her kids. In a relationship, she's definitely not the kind who would demand something from her partner. Her partner instead, willingly submits himself to her. Now anywhere this girl goes anyone will want to be her friend and employers would value her as an asset.
I know by this time if the girlfriend ever does read this she'd be fuming mad but she if doesn't understand the reason for my admiration towards Kericia then suffice to say; she's incapable of accepting my past and the various people I've met throughout my life. Most importantly, she doesn't value the fact that she actually possesses me or the fact that she would someday for her patience and appreciation get the very best from me.
PS: I appreciated her efforts to make me an impromptu Christmas card, which was very sweet.
Knowing the ex, she's never going to listen to me so I decided I should take this chance to reminisce. You see, the sad thing about Kericia, is that our friendship soured; simply because I broke the rules and let's just say desperately tried to get out of the friend zone. I failed of course, to my regret. Before then, we had a short history as good friends and colleagues often confiding in each other and working together as a team(of sorts).
I have an enormous amount of respect and admiration for her like she's some kinda icon. She represented feminism and that's really cool. Fact: she's the only woman in my life who proved herself worthy of leadership in an environment ruled by men. Fiesty, fiercely loyal and selfless she resembles Mulan, the heroine from an ancient chinese tale. Despite her age, this 25 year old and mother of two is not to be messed with, because she has an amazing history, enough to be weaved into some kinda drama series. Out of every experience she grew into a sensible and matured woman; which was one of the reasons I took towards her.
Kericia certainly isn't flawless but at best she isn't one bit the materialistic kind, has a free spirit, pleasant and sensitive towards people, holds herself well, respects her peers, works hard and most of all loves her kids. In a relationship, she's definitely not the kind who would demand something from her partner. Her partner instead, willingly submits himself to her. Now anywhere this girl goes anyone will want to be her friend and employers would value her as an asset.
I know by this time if the girlfriend ever does read this she'd be fuming mad but she if doesn't understand the reason for my admiration towards Kericia then suffice to say; she's incapable of accepting my past and the various people I've met throughout my life. Most importantly, she doesn't value the fact that she actually possesses me or the fact that she would someday for her patience and appreciation get the very best from me.
PS: I appreciated her efforts to make me an impromptu Christmas card, which was very sweet.
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